dear readers i am typing this post while in a state of upset (probably not a clever thing to do)...i should have something stronger than a cup of tea by my side but alas we all know what that can lead to. so i shall take you back a few hours so you may see why my little body is in a crumpled heap and i am near exhaustion...
i foolishly (you always know when Tif starts with that word that things are not going to go as planned) woke this morning thinking it would be a wonderful carefree bonding day with my children. i dressed appropriately for the day i had in mind...very Boden i feel. my plan was to get tidied up around the house (which really meant shoving things in cupboards and drawers very quickly) and then we would head out for our 'pre vacation shop'...i had a very long list of things, like socks, flip flops for the boys, our #2 wanted skinny jeans (that alone was going to be torture in it's self) and the list goes on...i took along with me, my four kids, a boyfriend (sadly not mine but belonging to our #1) and the natty little basket...
in hindsight i feel the day would have started off on a better foot if i had left my natty little basket at home...the horror on their faces as i loaded it into the trunk of the car should have been enough of a hint of things to come...
when we got to the first port of call, i physically had to remove my children out of the way so i could retrieve my basket from the trunk...as we walked towards the mall my children and a boyfriend stayed way behind...i must admit when our#3 test drove the basket at the store i didn't realize quite what a noise the little wooden wheels would make, so it is true to say people do NOTICE you when wheeling this thing. i held my head up high (thinking of all your lovely comments) and carried on...in every shop i would announce "oh no thank you i do not need a bag i have my basket" and the cashiers would look at me with one of those smiles that means "she's a nutter"...
after a while, we hopped back in the car to drive to the next town..( i can never seem to get everything i need in one place, i am still trying to get use to it after seven years). the next place we stopped was worse, as we were nearer home territory and so very likely to meet "friends", god forbid my girls be seen with me and my basket!
after four hours of being stared at and having the kids commenting about it, not to mention the general bickering that always goes on, it started to rain, i gave up and returned home with the shopping list uncompleted.
i was beaten dear readers, i was left undone with the upset of knowing that i have brought kids up to actually care what people think of us and how we look ( is this a generation thing and do you think it is much worse in certain places? it is a struggle for me here and it does seem ridiclous that a little basket causes so much attention) i have plonked myself on a piece of the planet that really doesn't quite have a whole lot of 'flair' or 'individuality' for want of better words...and i apologize if a 'local' is reading this ( i'm not talking the city, but the suburbs i live in) but it's the truth...gosh i don't think i have ever been opinionated on my blog before, i promise to not to do it again...i don't want you to think my kids are not nice and they are certainly not unkind, they just don't like that feeling of not fitting in...and i guess that is true of a lot of us.
so as i sit in my crumpled heap wondering what it's all about, i must tell you i had set out to do a post on bias binding..if i continue it will make for a long old read, but i think you would like to know if i managed to make some with the little tool i purchased...so let's sum it up...
i read the instructions very briefly, ie. scanned over them fleetingly.
i learnt that cheap fabric might not give the best results.
i worked out after re reading the instructions when patching fabrics together, there is a right and wrong way to do it.
i would definitely next time make it much wider.
i do not need the tool especially if making wider bias binding...
however when all said and done, it looks pretty in a glass jar even if it's not good enough for general use.
i would definitely buy it, if i could, rather than make it...i don't do well with fiddle things
and lastly, i have a whole lot of respect for bias binding makers everywhere...
and just as i was at my all time low for the day while typing this, the mail man paid a visit and my whole day felt a little brighter because my 'invisible' friend Francesca thought of me when out and about in Brighton and sent me a little care package...perfect timing Francesca, thank you. you will never know how much this has helped me feel better about myself ~ Tif
as a footnote : i promise to be brighter tomorrow, my blog is supposed to be light reading not heavy...forgive me :)
28 comments:
ALL children are like that! No matter how hard you try to raise them to be individuals and not too comformist, they still want to be and look like "everybody else". So do not fret - your children really DO appreciate you and your wonderful creativity. They just won't let you know for a little while yet.
Is that Wilmer Valderama (sp?) on the cover of that "Easy Meals" book? Haha!
Also, my mom "used to" do the craziest stuff which I did not appreciate then. HOLY MOLY...now that I am older and wiser, I wish I would have paid attention. ;) Hang in there.
For fear of taking up too much of your comment space (not sure what happens if someone takes up too much space, but I'm sure Blogger Bad Things will happen... like double lines and wonky pictures), I want to share with you some lyrics to a song that I was only able to appreciate once I was out of school for a few years. The song is a bit punky, though written out it looks a little Paul Anka-ish. Remember that punk is about irony...
I want to be different, like everybody else I want to be like
I want to be just like all the different people
I have no further interest in being the same,
because I have seen difference all around,
and now I know that that's what I want
I don't want to blend in and be indistinguishable,
I want to be a part of the different crowd,
and assert my individuality along with the others
who are different like me
I don't want to be identical to anyone or anything
I don't even want to be identical to myself
I want to look in the mirror and wonder,
"who is that person? I've never seen that person before;
I've never seen anyone like that before."
The song goes on, but I hope you can see what I mean. As "different" and free-thinking as our kids (and we) were/are, in reality there's still that longing to belong... And like it or not, that's what helps them be productive members of society. Remember as crafters how much validation we want and need?
Did I mention to you that I'm not thinking clearly?
thank you for understanding...i know we all feel like it at times but funny how some days we can rise above it and others we just crumble with the weight of it...
Wonderfyl bias binding - very pretty - it looks just like at came from a Japanese craft mag.
Ah yes... that reminder that we too are human.
Did I mention that my 8 hour class today was on turning your talents into strengths? And WE ALL are doing that. We watched a video that said 80% of people are not able to do something in their life that uses their strengths - that part of them that makes them feel energized. But you and I, and many of your readers who are doing what they love... we are part of that 20%. We are SO lucky!
And NOW I've used up too much space...
They are just teenagers Tif, and while I feel (and am, lets face it) very far away from all that, I remember feeling just like that. But it's a short spell...it won't be long before you are going to movies and meeting for lunch and they will really respect and love your individuality and maybe even try to emulate it. It's nothing to do with how you've brought them up, it is partly a generational thing and all those magazines with paris hilton on the cover, but mostly just part of being a teenager.
As for where you live, that's pretty much the suburbs anywhere, although I think it may be a little more conservative and 'cookie cutter' over there (apologies to statesiders if i'm wrong.
Individuality is a wonderful thing. Pick yourself up, throw a slip over your jeans, and be proud to wheel your trolley!
i know that kids generally would rather 'blend in' at a certain age and i am okay with that, each to there own and just because i spent my teen years wanting to stand out does not mean that i need my kids to do the same, i totally understand their point of view...
i think the irony of it all, is that for all my wishing to be different as a teenager, i became the exact opposite..married with four kids living in surburbia (not that i'm saying i don't like being married with four kids) it's just kind of amusing really :)
Recently found your blog and I love it! Be proud and think of it it like this, you're starting a TREND!
Hi Tif, I am loving that little basket trolley - don't worry if the kids don't "get it"!! We all think it's way coooooool!!!
I think all teenagers are like that no matter how you bring them up. They'll grow out of it and realise that being individual is far more fun. I remember being dreadfully embarrassed just because my Mum would chat to people in the queue at the supermarket. Even people she didn't know! Now I think it's great that she's so friendly and living in London, a long for more people to be like her.
Absolutely love the way the bias binding looks! Oh, and also, even if the trolley was an embarrassment to your kids, it still looks great and you look really cool pulling it along in that photo.
oh bless, i can feel your disappointment just reading that. i've been dying to ask you, how did you end up moving across the pond?. we re-located last year but no where near as far. we used to live in the north west, near liverpool, but now live near leicestershire in the midlands.
it was hard leaving all our friends and family behind but we've been lucky and settled in well.
If you love that basket, then you should use that basket! I recently bought an old fashioned looking cruiser type bike with a basket and my hubby makes so much fun of me. But I love it and ride it anyway!
I think that all teenagers are embarrassed by their parents, it's in their job description! I know I was and now I love all those funny things that my mom used to do. I even do some of them myself. Take heart and enjoy your basket -It is lovely like you!
lucykate, i moved across the pond for a my man's job..and we have never had so many friendly people to live amongst..the americans's are very good at being friends and getting to know you, and i love that side of things...but we moved to an area just like Francesca described, it is very 'cookie cutterish'...after seven years it can sometimes get you down..but hey it's not forever and we really do enjoy living in the states..but of course i miss the eclecticness (not sure about that spelling!)of the UK...
My elder daughter is ten this Sunday - for the first time she is worried about what I might produce as party bags and I thought - poor thing, she knows I'll make them and that just isn't cool anymore. we compromised on me making the bags and buying the bits.
She is not going to be a natural fitter in - she will take after me in just looking daft if she tries to wear what everyone else wears or do what everyone else does. She just seems to have noticed this.
It is very sad.
J
x
tif! tif! i was just in crouch end (north london) and saw a lovely lady wheeling a basket just like yours! not spray-painted blue, and not with vintage fabric inside but she was going about her everyday business like her basket was totally de rigueur in these parts. couldn't wait to tell you.:)
Oh, i am so feeling for you. Don't ever succumb to the suburbs. Please don't. :) all that is good and quirky and unique in humans seems to get flattened out into khaki neutral-ness out there. I used to work in a small suburb and hated it. I totally understand the desire for a place that is not big on sameness and more on just letting you live and be eccentric. I used to live in eastern europe and almost weekly i have a day where i miss the value of art and quirk that i experienced there, and i live in a city where the suburb vibe is fairly low. :) Hang in there. I enjoy you and your basket and covet it in every picture i see it in! :)
Francesca!!! do you think that lady had any idea that her little trip out with her basket could bring such joy to another basket owner across the pond...how wonderful...i am cheered greatly by this news..
thank you for all your kind words dear readers, i know i am not alone in this feeling and that helps a lot :)
Tif - If you think your suburb is conformist, you should try living where I live - Utah! Salt Lake City itself is fairly diverse, but the suburbs are definitely cookie-cutter! When I go to Seattle to visit family, everything looks very "funky" and quirky (in a great way) to me.
It's all very amusing your children being embarrassed about your outing avec the wicker basket on wheels BUT you are the living embodiment of an individualist. We all want to fit in and blend especially when growing up but it's essential for them to know it's equally, no more important to express yourself.
You are a shepherdess not a sheep! That's what you should tell them when they moan:)
Oh, they're just teenagers! Normal teenagers. I bet when they get a few years older, they'll be mimicing (sp) you. I always gave my kids a bell to jingle when they were sick. When I recently had surgery, they gave ME a bell to ring! Brought tears to my eyes :) Nancy
Just wanted to say that I also think you look fantastic with your basket, I've been wanting one for ages! Also am really impressed with your bias binding and will give it a try myself now. My mother is extremely crafty and always made everything for us, at times I was a bit embarrassed but boy I'm glad for that now (in fact I'd say I was as soon as I wasn't a teenager anymore!). I'm sure your kids love your style!
I Love your basket...it's adorable. I want one just like it.
I know exactly what you mean about the 'burbs' and their lack of flair. A visit to anywhere near downtown almost verges on entering a different country! You notice people and they enjoy being noticed! *gasp*
I still sigh, dreaming of life in one of those cute little old cottage style houses near Fremont or Capitol Hill, being inspired on a daily basis by the 'different' people. Ah well, another time, another city (minus traffic) perhaps.
Oh and I look forward to reading about your adventures in England when you return. Maybe one day a couple of suburban mum's can do afternoon tea :)
-Maggi (sad owner of a station wagon and wearer of 'Crocs')
Maggi...ahhh the 'crocs' do we not wish we had invented them and the do-dab that the kids buy to decorate them...i would love to meet up with any subarban mums in our area on my return...shall look forward to it..
and of course you will be glad when i go because Seattle will get it's heatwave...it happens every year, just wait and see, on Monday the sun will start shinning for 4 weeks solid :)
Oh dear. I'm sorry your family doesn't love your natty basket. I know I do! I think its fabulous, and you are too! :)
xoxo
Veronica
I love this post. So glad I found it. I truly believe that all kids go through this despite how they turn out as adults. I remember the days when I was horribly embarrassed about the old station wagon my parents would drop me off at school in. It was white with one of those reverse back seats, a sagging ceiling and little spots of rust.
The station wagon is a fond memory now, but I feared the demise of a social life as a child.
And now, here I am as an adult that gets weird stare for bringing her hand made tote around in the 'burbs to use instead of plastic bags.
Aren't people getting this, now?
anyhow, its a good thing I now live in the city and people actually ask "will this be going in your bag?" and I proudly say yes, yes thank you!
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