glad tidings of joy...

well the count down to christmas is really on, i have had 'three' sightings of santa, first the one when i was carrying my wood pile...the second whilst waiting at Safeway's deli for some cheese...

"look" i said to our #1 "not three yards from you is santa"

"that's not santa that's just an old man with a long white beard, who probably hates this time of year 'cause people like you point and whisper" she replied

"no, no, that is santa, he is just wearing his 'day off' clothes and collecting his deli chinese meal for dinner. it's all about believing"...

"i don't believe" (gasp!) it took me a while to recover, i had trouble looking her in the eye because she is heading to 5ft 10 inches, so i tippy toed and said

"i shall pretend that i never heard that"

a festive monster from our #4 (with a little help from Miss Ethel)

the third time was this saturday just gone, i was busy struggling with a queen size mattress and our van in the parking lot when he wandered by...

"morning santa" said i from under the mattress

"ummm, yeah, hi"

what was that, is that how santa would talk to you, i think not...lucky for him i was doing my balancing act. i have now come to the conclusion 'this santa' that always seems to be hanging around our local parking lot is not the 'real mccoy'...he must be an impostor...how else can i explain the 'ummm, yeah, hi' bit.

surely santa still goes "ho ho ho"...even if he ends it with a "dude"...

and so dear readers i have some fan-tab-u-lous news...it has been one hundred and forty days since we first stepped inside the yellow house and started to dream about moving.

the ups and the downs have taken their toll...i have doubled my gray hair count, added at least four new frown lines to my forehead and am requiring some serious under eye cream these days...but i am letting you know we are 'sold' and we will be moving to mossy shed (hurrah)...you can uncross your weary fingers and toes for the holidays (i thank you kindly for doing that)...at the moment i am surrounded by packing boxes as we have decided it would be a very wonderful exciting thing to pack and move most of our belongings, four children and several pets (accept heavy furniture because i'm a weakling) by ourselves...yes it is true to say we are going to go nuts...

in seventeen days (yes, seventeen...you heard me right) we will be living in our 'mock tudor' number amongst total chaos, me with my 'rose colored' spectacles and my man with his "where's it all going to go" "there's no attic space" "the ceilings are very low" "i think i need a shed" 'man blinkers' on...

so i wish you all a very merry time, what ever your celebrations this december...and i will return some time around the 14th January 2008 typing at my little blue desk, in the corner by the lovely fireplace at mossy shed...

she's wishing you a Happy New Year ~ Tif

according to plan...

according to my grand plan i would be posting a 'wonderful lovely' tutorial about crocheting a popcorn garland with lots of helpful pictures...but alas my plan has been thwarted by several things...first my 'flu' like symptoms that have plagued me for several days...secondly after spending nearly an hour trying to get non blurry pictures i have given up and thirdly i am blaming the lousy weather conditions and not my camera skills...

so you will have to use your imagination with this one, no pretty pictures sadly.

i might also add this is the most simple easy peasy crocheted item you will ever make, however with my inability to write clear concise 'crochet terms' it will appear to be the most super duper complicated item you have ever attempted...dear readers do not be 'put off' just pick up that yarn and before you know it you will have 'bluffed' your way through my instructions to your very own 'popcorn garland'...

so with the help of some 'irrelevant pictures' of Miss India Rose i shall begin...

1. you will need a 'worsted' weight yarn and a size 4.0 mm hook (i used lambs pride worsted yarn...it is a beautiful clotted cream color and crochets up a charm)

2. chain a length of around 2 yards...you could just chain one huge length but i prefer to do several shorter garlands so i don't get in a tangle)

now that was the easy bit...

3. slip stitch back into 14th chain from hook to create a 'loop' for hanging onto your branch

4. single crochet into the next six stitches

5. chain six

6. double crochet into 3rd chain from hook, repeat 6 more times until you have a fan shape

7. remove hook and place into first double crochet, collect loop and pull through to create bobble

8. slip stitch into base of chain to join bobble back to main garland

9. repeat from row 4. until 14 stitches from end of garland and make a loop for your other branch.

the garland will naturally twist as you proceed...i do so hope that i have made this clear, basically you need to count, six single crochets, six chains, seven double crochets, one slip stitch and repeat...plus remember i am using american terminology and i believe for british crocheting it will be different...my trusty rowan book tells me...

US single is a UK double

US double is a UK treble

right, i think it is quite true to say that if you attempt this you will be requiring a drink within 25 minutes...if you actually manage to work out a 'popcorn garland' from my instructions then please let us all know so we can believe that miracles do happen at christmas...

she's hoping you can work it out ~ Tif

'tis the season...

for hanging stockings by the fireplace...

for not forgetting little ones...even the naughty ones...

for men to dig out their 'man blinkers' for shopping...

for lovely gift wrap from anthropologie...

for ginger snaps in pretty tins...

for handcrafting gifts...

for pesky gnomes to rest a while and sleep...

for starting a new yarn project...

for Tif to do a 'popcorn garland' tutorial on Thursday...

better late than never ~ Tif

the one about the six pesky gnomes and how they came to stay...

okay okay...you've got me, i admit that those little pesky gnomes made it on to my doorstep with a little help from me...
you see dear readers, having to be out of my carefully staged house for five hours (due to inspection being preformed) meant i was forced to hang around shops.

now usually this would not have been a chore in the least especially as i needed to get cracking with some christmas shopping but i am lacking one thing at the moment and have been since before Thanksgiving...the one thing that Mother Christmas can not be without this time of year...(no, not Johnny Depp, silly)...my credit card......................i paused a long while for you to recover, yes it is a horror story...the night before thanksgiving i am advised by those 'advisers' from the very important world of financing that someone is having a good time in Texas courtesy of me and my man.

not good, not good at all...and even more 'not good' i was informed it would take over ten business days to get a new card. well my little heart was thumping with the horror of it all, and more to the point i had planned to hit the Anthro sale the day after thanksgiving with my trusty credit card by my side...i let out a wail of despair and then i sat down with a bottle of my new found love to think it over.

after a while it seemed quite clear what i must do at this desperate time...i would raid my childrens piggy banks...our #1 was useless, she had spent all her money...our #2 wasn't any help either, hers is all safely tucked up in a bank account....our#4 was not even worth asking as money runs through his hands like water...so it was down to our #3, i knew he wouldn't fail me, he ferrets his money away and watches it grow under the mattress.

"i need any money you have and i need it now" (no time for politeness here)

"what for?" he asks

"the anthropologie sale"...

"ummm, (he knows his mother's weakness is the anthro sale tables) okay but it will cost you, i am thinking i will charge you five dollars...so you will have to pay me back the full amount plus another five"

"you're on"...

and so dear readers that is how Tif got her six red plates on the sale table the day after thanksgiving...which leads me to tell you that yesterday after days of checking on line, anthro at last dropped their prices on the red plates i required to make the number up to ten in my cupboard. "fantastic" i hear you cry...that is what one would think but it was not "fantastic" because i had no credit card to purchase them...as luck would have it, my man's card turned up two days ago. i phoned him at work in a panic, "quick quick, you must come home, anthro have discounted the plates...i must buy them now before someone else gets my lovely 'bargain' plates"...to which he replied "do we really need these plates" words fail me at times like these...

back to the gnomes...

i made it over to the store 'World Market' simply because they sell cadbury's chocolate bars and i was feeling the need for some light refreshment whilst crocheting 'popcorn garlands' in the car with my friend, used dog.
as i was paying for my chocolate bar, (carefully counting out my pennies) a little voice said "oi, over here" and it was little pesky gnome #1...before i knew it all six had jumped into my shopping cart and insisted on coming home with me.

"i'm not sure i can afford you, i only have six dollars on me and i really really need my chocolate"

"don't worry" he said "we are on sale" (oh magic words to my ears)

when we arrived home, they were not best pleased i made them stand out on the doormat and ring the bell so i could get a good story...part of their displeasure was to do with reaching the doorbell, even with standing on each others shoulders they informed me a long stick would be required...

when i awoke this morning there was some telling evidence in my house...

she's thinking they may be making more trouble in days to come ~ Tif

the one about a gracious host...

when used dog and i returned late yesterday after spending most of the day out of the house because of the inspection, i was just sitting down with a cup of tea and the door bell rang.

i hopped up and answered it but no one was there...mumbling to myself i returned to my sofa, (please note crochet throw from my thrifting the other day) to work on my final popcorn garland and drink my tea...a few seconds later the bell rang again.

once again i couldn't see anyone there and just as i was closing the door i heard a little

"excuse me"...

well dear readers, what are the chances of passing strangers (albeit of the gnome variety) coming to my door looking for some christmas cheer (thank goodness i did not buy the blue plates...)

trying to be a gracious host, i got a little closer...

"we are six little pesky christmas gnomes from Norway and have lost our way"...

"oh really" says i "then why do you have a 'made in Taiwan' label on your backs?"

ignoring my question the leader of the dubious bunch continued "please can we come into your lovely warm home, we saw your christmas tree and popcorn garland through the window and we wish to rest our weary tiny feet a while"

"ummm" i said...

"we promise not to be any trouble"...

from past experience with gnomes i do not believe it one bit, but i didn't want to hurt their tiny feelings so i invited them in...

and so dear readers i am now entertaining a bunch of little 'naughty looking' gnomes for christmas, they have taken up residence on my coffee table and by the looks of it, have a new furry best friend...not sure if there will be six of them for long...

i think she's going a bit loopy with the trials of house selling ~ Tif

in the past three days...

1. i have woken up to snow...

2. had a power outage...

3. seen Santa walking down the street whilst buying fire wood because of power outage. (not fake beardy santa but the real thing, he smiled and waved straight at little old me and my wood pile).

4. had an even bigger dump of snow

5. discovered microwave popcorn is not the same as popcorn of old...it does not like to be strung as a garland.

6. created own popcorn garland for tree with the magic of crochet

7. eaten delicious pink owls cookies courtesy of our #2

8. jazzed up old thrift store coat with a handcrafted brooch...and decided to make more for presies. ("and when might that be, oh 'Tif of little time' ")

9. huge amounts of rain and wind pelting around the place.

10. have signed contracts with a buyer for our house...it's been a hell of a few weeks negotiating and until we get past inspection i am not celebrating...but if all goes according to plan we will be moving just after Christmas...("thank you up above")

phew ~ Tif

footnote : please do not uncross fingers or toes dear readers, until i give you the all clear...thank you :)