i am a little lost...

despite the woes of Carlos i did indeed take a few snaps of old blighty with a borrowed camera,

however i am going to save it all for next week.

for next week is when my clan returns to school and the shed takes on hushed tones again.

in turn, giving me more time to gather my thoughts and tell you my tales...

in the meantime i have located the 'big camera' my man bought several years back,

claiming it was a marvelous camera with the ability to capture the world around us with ease.

i was sceptical at the time and after today, i continue to remain so...

perhaps not the fault of the camera, more to do with my inability to embrace new things.

i wish i was better in that respect but alas i appear as every year goes by, to become more crappity crap at it.

after five minutes of struggling with the beast of a camera,

i came to the conclusion, a strap around my neck was required.

upon fixing the strap on, it became clear not only were my arm muscles lacking

but so were my neck muscles.

i then discovered if i combined the strength of my neck and arms together,

i was able to lift the camera high enough to see through the lens.

this little fiasco took up about twenty minutes

by now my heart was quickening,

and i longed for Carlos of the old days to return to me.

i told myself to recall my breathing exercises from child birth

so i may remain calm,

giving the 'beast camera' a chance to show me his skills.

to be fair to the camera,

i do believe he has great potential to achieve shots way superior to Carlos.

if i took the time to locate the manual from it's hiding place,

spent further time reading what it has to say,

and start a strict daily regime of lifting weights

i think we may start to get along.

but i don't think that will ever happen,

i am still grieving for Carlos and his perfect little weighted ways

his ability to record a moment

without strap around neck and a weight lifting programme in place.

proceeding around the shed i took snap shot after shot.

i do believe by shot 12 i had broken a sweat

and the struggle to avoid tripping over things in my path was becoming more and more tres tricky.

'beast camera' was blocking most of my view as i pottered around

and for a pesky doggie such as little olive,

this could only spell danger.

after taking twenty four pictures i needed a lie down,

upon recovery i discovered only three shots worth keeping.

i think them quite acceptable,

but for me they lack a certain je ne sais quoi

that Carlos brought to the frame...

so for now i shall continue taking photos with Carlos.

when he is having a good day we will make magic together

and on his bad days i will not get frustrated or bad tempered but accept him as he is.

until i am ready that is,

to make the big step of finding a light weight replacement

so he may rest in peace, knowing he was my first camera love

and therefore always hold a special place in my heart

she is thanking you most kindly for your 'welcome homes' and the kindness you have shown toward Carlos and his demise ~ Tif