oh, bother me...

the fact that our #4 is home poorly does not bother me.

the fact i have three pairs of woolly tights now sporting holes does not bother me.

the fact all morning my internet and phone connection has been 'non existent' does not bother me.

the fact it is raining does not bother me, despite needing to take pictures for my etsy update, (actually that's a lie, but for 'setting the scene' purposes we have to pretend i'm not bothered in the least...)

the fact i am down to a piffling amount of yarn does not bother me. (not true again)...

the fact my printer has decided to get sick and i only have three sets of 'every eventuality' cards printed off does not bother me. (okay, so that's total rubbish as well, but once again we need to play 'pretend' for the sake of my dramatic bothersome issue coming up in a minute)

the fact that i spent the best part of last night listening to 'lack of food' complaints in the shed, does not bother me.

no dearest readers, all those little niggly things do not bother me today, for i am bothered by the most bothersome thing of all.

a missing slip!

(not the slip you see pictured, for that slip belongs to another... i never photographed my slip in all her full glory, and sadly it would appear it is too late now)

now before you think, really is that all Tif has to be bothered about these days, let me enlighten you to the fact i am not only bothered by the disappearance of my 'everyday' slip but am bothered by once again my memory and lack of.

how is it i can remember in great detail my soul sister's pen set from when we were 12 and yet my 'lovely faithful' slip whom i hold close to me most days of the year, has vanished without recall.

and not just in the past few days i might add, no this 'vanishing act' happened long ago... i know this to be true as i've been looking for over five weeks now, so who knows how long she's been 'out there alone' without me.

i loved my slip, i remember the moment i spied her at the thrift store... she wasn't quite like the rest, she appeared to be a little quirky in her fabric content and her style.

i took her home, promised her a new life and ever since we have remained close, until now that is.

how is it, i can recall the moment of 'meeting' but not the moment of 'departing'?

i know i had her in old blighty this summer, but on returning stateside to a heat wave, i threw 'my modesty' and 'my slip' to the wind, just floating around in wispy thin skirts not caring if every man and his dog could see my 'unmentionables'...

but since then i have no recollection of us being together.

'how, where and when'

is a mystery which bothers me so.

i do not like my skirt riding up my woolly holey tights, it is irksome to say the least. for now i am wearing another slip from my closet, but alas we do not seem to be a perfect match, however much this slip tries to please she is not my other 'true love' slip...

i fear the awful truth is most distressing,

a truth that makes my very blood run cold

a terrible truth that i must face...

when sorting out my closet 'pre-challenge days', gearing up for my handcrafted thrifty year,

( i can hardly voice it dearest readers, it makes me weep to think of it... but for you i will go on),

i do believe... (gulp), my 'dearly departed' little slip, who gave me over two years of 'damn fine' service has ended her days in a trash sack filled with my 'closet rejects' and then donated.

(i shall pause here, while perhaps we reflect upon the horror of my crime committed and then the wickedness of myself, to delete the very act from my memory. thus proving a 'perfect crime' has been committed by myself upon myself)

perhaps it was the discovery of a 'nostril hair of the worst kind' only days prior that caused me to commit such a deed, driven by the distraction of my nostril issues, my mind being somewhere else at the time... of course it all fits now, the perfect criminal mind at work. not seeing my cruel actions for i was truly in a state of distress, thus distracted from what my evil hands were doing.

i am wondering if one day when trawling the thrifty aisles, perhaps by chance my little slip will be waiting for me and perhaps she'll be quite willing to forgive and forget the 'crime of insanity' i commited against her.

until such day, she will go on being bothered by the loss of her slip, the loss of her memory and her ability to 'commit such a crime' with no recollection ~ Tif