first real test...

if you recall (and if you do then you get a gold star, you know the ones...just like your primary school teacher would stick in your exercise book and write 'V. Good' next to it. at last you had worked out which way round a 'b' and a 'd' go and she no longer would have to tear her hair out and go home reaching for the gin bottle...)

and so we must recall a time before the 'snow storm' to end all 'snow storms' hit 'the shed'...as we prepared to 'batten down the hatches' not knowing at the time that it would snow for 'nine days and nine nights' (okay so it did stop every now and then but i'm telling you it was a lot of snow, especially for a wee brit like myself)...so do you recall i started a yarn project...

well i finished the project before christmas but with only being granted a few hours of internet access on christmas eve (a small miracle i believe) before it was so cruely snatched from us for another week (including access to tv and phone...yes, yes...it would be true with the snow as well, i do believe we could almost have been living a 'little house on the prairie' existence. i really am doing a lot of digressing...i put it down to 'chocolate' withdrawal. i did succumb to my addiction yesterday, but less than the usual quoter was digested therefore my body is still going through a transitional stage of 'trauma')

so here it is...modelled by the 'ever so lovely' Mabel

my little 'scarflet' that i based upon my lovely friend Debbie's scarflet...i am most pleased with the results and once again have proven to myself that if i don't follow a pattern and make it up...i always finish the project and it always seems to 'work out'...

tonight, will be another 'test of strength' in my growing battle against my new year resolutions...yes, dearest readers it is 'dance night'...and you know what that means don't you? my usual night for thrifting. i can see it now, i will tip out our #2 and leave the parking lot, turn onto the main road and then stop at the 'lights'.

right there, at that precise moment i will feel just like Donna Noble from Doctor Who...she sat at the 'T-junction' and had to make a decision as to whether to turn left or turn right. a decision with massive consquences...turning one way would cause the end of the universe, turning the other way would save the universe.

i can see this will be me tonight...fighting the urge to turn left, just in case there is a 'never been seen before, i must have you treasure' at the thriftstore with my name on it which needs to 'be saved'...or do i turn right, taking the road to 'the shed' and 'my kitchen' that will need clearing up after another unsuccessful 'trying to be fabulous' cooking fiasco...

she's wondering if she is strong enough to avoid temptation of the 'thrifty kind'...and also why her 'vegetarian broccoli pasta bake' from last night did not receive a standing ovation from those who sampled it ~ Tif

revenge is sweet...

if you are sitting comfortably, and quite possibly with a choccy bar in hand then i shall begin...

"what can it be?" her man asked, busy shaking the 'craftily...ney, splendidly' wrapped gift that he found under the tree on christmas morning.

"perhaps it's a star wars clone trooper blah blah blah, i have been secretly hoping for"...

Tif gave a sweet smile, admiring her man's ability to be enthusiastic about his gift despite the onset of flu...

he got 'to work' unwrapping the gift, all the while muttering about star wars and then considering the weight of the gift, rethinking his initial 'guess' and realizing it wasn't going to be what he had hoped for...

sneakily, Tif had wrapped the gift in more than one layer of paper, adding to the anticipation of the moment...all the children sat rooted to the spot, putting aside their gifts...for they knew what 'treasure' lay below the wrapping and just like Tif, were looking forward to the reaction...

the final layer ripped from the box and before her man lay a gift to end all "crappy birthday gifts for the rest of her life"...

a toaster...

(dearest readers, i must just butt in here and say from now on in this little 'tale that needs to be told' it is quite possible for you to replace the word 'toaster' for the word 'panini maker' and yes honestly, we could be right back where this tale began on my 40th birthday)

"don't you remember, a few weeks ago you said we needed a new toaster...so i knew you would be delighted with it" hardly taking a breath and with an exaggerated, ironic 'happy' voice, Tif continued her 'pay back'..."oooh, and if you look it's chrome, which i felt gave it a retro feel which i know you like so much and also i thought it would be such fun to make toast on a saturday for lunch"

"very good" her man laughed "i understand"

(before you go, let me tell you this is not where the sorry tale ends though... there is a 'finale' to the 'crappy gift giving' moment)

thinking it couldn't get any worse, he took out the toaster from it's box only to find it's gleaming chrome exterior to be tarnished with finger prints and bread crumbs abound in the slots...it would appear his christmas gift had already been 'gifted' before...and returned

she's already broken 'resolution #6' ~ Tif

new year resolutions...

(in no particular order)

1. to blog regularly ("ha, ha, ha.....ha, ha, ha", okay...funny, funny, that's enough, you can wipe the tears away and refocus now)

2. to become a fabulous cook, (don't even attempt a single "ha" at this one)...embracing the two vegetarians living in my fold...and to achieve a household not unlike 'the darling buds of may'...

3. to thrift only once a month (gulp)...to break my addiction. i have already used this month's worth up, so it's 'cold turkey' until february. (i'm deep breathing into a paper bag as i type this one...) and more to the point, 'blog about' it...

4. to stop putting up pics of my 'where have you been all my life' chair and 'miss indie' more than once a week, for fear of becoming 'dull'...

5. to only shop 'handcrafted' and 'secondhand'...this may prove tricky for the kids birthdays, but i am already thinking a nice knitted 'cozy' for our 4's 'game console' would make a lovely gift for when he turns 11 in May. on second thoughts that could be the defining moment in his life when he realizes he is looking forward to leaving home...

6. to reduce my chocolate intake by a drastic amount, so far i have clocked up 16 days in January and i have put away 10 crunchie bars, 2 curlywurlys, 4 dark flakes and 1 large bar of cadburys...not to mention my daily dose of chocolate spread on toast. this is a disgrace, i am forty years of age, i need to grow up and become responsible for my actions. i have reached an age when i must start to take better care of my 'body' and fight the aging process...so let it be known from this day forth i will limit myself to one chocolate bar on a friday and saturday night... (a little pause whilst i grab my paper bag again)

7. to finish painting out all brown wood trim at the shed, including the skirting boards...this may go some way to explain my 'missing in action' the past two weeks...and also to paint all walls 'ultra bright white'...having just finished the lounge/dining area a few days back, i looked around to admire my work. our #4 came in and announced his approval..."oh yes this is much better, it reminds me of something, oh that's right...one of those fancy airport lounges" i am happy to take that as a compliment as apposed to our #1's comment which was "ummm, i see we are really embracing the 'insane asylum' look for this season"

8. to become a 'chicken' owner...and dress accordingly at all times...i am thinking chunky boots, woolly tights, old overcoat over the top of a dressing gown...wild hair tamed by a knitted beret...all with a vintage slip peeking out below. a few blocks from here, i saw a little 'old dear' feeding her cows in the field, she was dressed in such attire and i could tell she was at 'one' with her animals and they appreciated her 'wild and woolly' look...

9. to pull my socks up with 'dottie angel' and really make a 'plan of campaign' for her future...

10. to try hard to remember every day what a 'lucky duck' i am and to embrace the last few years i have left, before our first born 'flies the nest'...

she's wishing you all a 'happy new year' and has a 'tale to tell' on Tuesday about 'her man' and his 'christmas gift' ~ Tif