Wednesday, December 9

and so it came to pass...

if you are sitting comfortably, perhaps with tipple in hand then i shall begin...

once upon a time in a cold, cold land lived Tif in her Mossy Shed with used dog and little olive.
trying to keep warm, Tif noted used dog and little olive had an advantage due to their warm coats of fur. Tif was a little bit at a disadvantage having lost her 'nostril hair of the worst kind' and thus feeling the extremities with her lack of fur.

whilst Tif kept herself warm by putting 'glee' all around the shed


the door bell rang,
"who can that be?" Tif asked her furry friends, her furry friends looked back at her with a quizzical look. for not many people ventured up to Mossy Shed's doorbell...
all three went to the door and as it was the season for pesky gnomes and other forsaken souls, it came as no surprise to find two such characters upon the doormat

"can i help you?" asked Tif gritting her teeth against the bitter cold.
"my name is Joe, this is my wife Mary" he pointed to a rather round colorful lady... "we were on our way to a special place but have lost our way. the cold is causing my wife untold trouble with her circulation. plus she is with child and told me not two minutes earlier, that she felt the time was close"
the two forsaken souls looked at Tif,
Tif looked at used dog,
used dog looked at little olive,
and little olive looked at the forsaken souls.
Joe continued with his tale of woe
"and so we are looking for a place to stay warm, out of the cold so my wife can rest a while and get her circulation going again"

Tif let them into the shed to thaw out...
a little while past and then Mary let out a scream
"oh Joe, the baby's coming!"
once again the two forsaken souls looked at Tif,
Tif found herself looking at used dog,
used dog found herself looking at little olive
and little olive found herself looking at the forsaken souls.

"okay" said Tif
"nobody panic, i've been through this a few times Mary and quite honestly i may not have a certificate to prove my capabilities but i do have a florence nightingale hat in the kitchen drawer. take some deep breaths and if there is one thing i learnt in my labouring moments. never ever call the unborn child, causing untold pain to the labouring mum, a cherub! for that mum in 'pain beyond all pain' does not see her unborn child as a cherub at that moment in time. by all means, afterwards call him or her a cherub but not when the mother-to-be is crying out, i'm going to die... for that is obviously not the time to refer to anything by the term 'cherub'... no Mary, i will not do that to you."

Tif quickly realized this was not the time for bitter recall and got busy finding her florence nightingale hat, which really was proving hard to locate under the debris in the drawer, all the time shouting out calming words of "breathe in, breathe out". when she turned back to face the little group, hat on head. she noted used dog, little olive, Joe and Mary were all breathing nicely, looking at her and waiting...

just then another knock at the door
"you go" Tif said to used dog, as she made Mary a little more comfortable
used dog found three pesky gnomes and their girlfriends on the doorstep along with a sheep and two chickens
"hey dog, is this the shed that beholds our chosen one" they asked, just as a baby cry came forth. "we are three pesky shepherds and have come to pay our respects"
used dog rolling her eyes heavenward, let them in

"it's a girl" Tif offered up, as the pesky shepherds and used dog entered the room.
no sooner had she done so then another knock at the door could be heard.
this time little olive went to answer...

"hello, i'm a wise owl, my brothers are at the pub down the road, thought i noticed a star shining brightly above your shed, unusual for daytime, made me think that something strange and glorious was going on... wondered if indeed 'the chosen one' had been born. i don't have a gift i'm afraid, 'cause i lost it playing poker, but i thought it might be nice to pop by and say hello anyway"

and so it came to pass that a trickle of visitors began to arrive at mossy shed that day, some remarking how 'the chosen one' resembled her mother and not her father. which Tif, used dog and little olive felt most unsuitable considering the enormity of the moment that had passed at mossy shed this christmas time




later that evening, before going to bed, Tif checked in on Mary and Joe, along with their little one. they seemed most happy with their new baby and dwellings.

"perhaps", Tif thought to herself, "this will be the year for peace on earth and goodwill toward all pesky forsaken souls around the globe"
and at that moment a chorus of sock monkey angels appeared and glory really did shine all around

the end

she is out and about tomorrow, unearthing thrifty treasures for her secret santa, oh the lucky soul ~ Tif

43 comments:

Amy said...

This is unbelievably wonderful, Tif! I can hardly imagine saying it, but you may have out-done yourself with awesomeness. Thank you so much for the light you put into our world each and every day!
xoxox.

chloejessica said...

What a cute story! I love the little caravan with mini garland! Adorable! :)

The Rose Room said...

haha, hilarious, love your own version of the story and love the'nativity scene! too funny! I do have to say that Joe looks like he's a bit of a dubious sort, he has a shifty look about him........ Rachaelxo

jus said...

You're a nutcase!
Lordy...that made me laugh. How am I supposed to secret squirrel read blogs at work when I keep guffawing.
It's like being back in my 'O' level needlework exam when Anita Withers kept throwing rubbers at the back of my head...

Sonja said...

You outdid yourself with this one, Tif. Probably my favorite post ever. Bless your dear heart providing Joe, Mary, and baby a cozy home that even has a signature Dottie Angel garland!

Crafty Mermaid said...

oh so so cute! I'm in love with the caravan - where can I get one? I might start obsessing over it majorly.

Dolly said...

hmmm and i thought my playmobil nativity set was good...

LOVE it! truly inspired. although i now want to go and make my own display!

nath said...

oh my goodness. just look at that nativity scene. it's quite the nicest, sweetest, dandiest thing i've laid my eyes on all day. i'm really quite speechless.

wood & wool stool said...

Aww! I love the story and asked myself why doesn´t Tif write a book. Yeah for Tif!

wood & wool stool said...

Ps; I´m sure you´re having so much fun directing the story and making the pictures. I imagine you laughing out loud :D

Sara said...

that was fantastic! and may be the best nativity scene I've seen!

Michelle said...

Oh Tif...
You made me laugh, cry and just adore everything about this post...
It has made my christmas...
and I am just sitting here lost for words...
You know I love this...

Robin said...

This was definitely the best part of my entire afternoon, Tif! I wish I could set up such a sweet scene in my office. Alas, the university would not approve.

If I don't read your blog each and every morning, I am a grumpy girl for the entire day. Thanks so much for sharing your words and talents.

Happy Holidays from down the Coast in Nor Cal!

Robin

Lotta said...

Tif - You are one awesome woman - loved it. Made my morning.
Ever thought of writing children's books? Good luck with the thrifting xxx

Luisa @ Dance in my garden said...

oh what a crack up!
loved it!

One Crafty Mumma said...

Totally beautiful :)

Vic said...

I NEED a wee caravan like that!!! NEED I tell you!

Lovely story m'dear (thought it does seem familiar somehow....), lovely photos, lovely lovely.

CathyE said...

Cute and cozy story! Thanks for sharing it.

Good Girls Studio said...

& that is the real meaning of christmas...thanks for clearing it all up for me ;)

Love the sock monkey chorus!

jacqueline said...

Such a beautiful story! I really enjoy reading it. :) I really adore your aprons especially those the wise words that you are hand embroidered on the napkin pocket! Have a lovely merry happy day and love to yoU!

Elicia said...

this is a wonderfully fabulous christmas story. love it so much!

dottie angel said...

just happy to spread a little glee where glee is appreciated :)

UmberDove said...

This.

I love.

sinnlighet said...

wonderful pic'sas usual!

agneta, sweden

T's Daily Treasures said...

Now that is one take on the story of the nativity that no one else in this world could tell but you. All I can do is shake my head and smile! Always so much fun visiting you and mossy shed and all your handmade craftiness. Blessings for this holiday season. Have fun unearthing thrifty treasures! :) Tammy

Jo Archer said...

I hate to lower the tone, but I think the sock monkey angel may have had something to with Mary's predicament. That's some "tail" he has and he does look pleased with himself!

Elizabeth said...

I laughed out loud at the pic of the shepherds and their girlfriends! Love the mini garland. Also, do you mind sharing where you got the wee squirrel?

dottie angel said...

the wee little squirrel belonged to my grandmother, a true vintage pesky squirrel if ever there was one :)

fran... i missed you :)

frauheuberg said...

oh...this is so magical...yes, i think it would be great if you write a book...;)...always wonderful to see your amazing creativity...it touched my heart very much...thanks for being there...a lovley holiday season...;)...

ines from the frauheuberg´s ladies

helen said...

This is completely bonkers and completely brilliant, thank you for making my day :-)

Lynda said...

It's so perfect, every little detail, and funny too. Thank you for making my day.

Ann said...

Tif, I love your stories--I so enjoy your wit and creativity.

Jeannette said...

What would be a nativity story without pesky creatures and sock monkeys?
This story should be told to every depressed little soul that hates Christmas. ;)
It has been a while a had such a good laugh! Thanks!

Heckety said...

You-are-quite-cracked-but-in-a-good-way! Loved your story- gleeful quirky or what!

Also, after much thought I've decided to join your utmost challenges because I think it will be a life and minchanging thing to do, and that is very necessary. I'm going to begin on January 1st.

bad penny said...

INSPIRED !!! you have put a smile on a poor aching mum's face here xx

Geek+Nerd said...

Oh wow - I laughed out loud so many times while reading this. I went to Catholic school for the majority of my life and this is the first time that I heard of a 'chorus of sock monkeys' singing over the child. I like your version better! :D Shhhhh, don't tell the nuns!

Andrea said...

What a cute lil story, just found your cute blog too!

Cary Walker said...

ha! just returned from a completely uptight and boring christmas party... and that was just the joyfully silly kind of fun i needed. thanks.

ninainvorm said...

Oh Tif, this last week you've posted so many beautiful & brilliant images on your blog, I keep looking at it all thinking 'how awesome'! I'd never heard the word 'glee' before and all the time I kept thinking what it could mean, so today I finally looked it up in a dictionary... And yes, so much glee around here! ;)

kat said...

i very nearly peed myself from laughter!

travelingmama said...

so heartwarming and touching... truly lovely!

Sigrid said...

This is the most hilarious thing I have read in months, maybe ever, and it was absolutely brilliantly written with clever and wonderfully taken pictures, and best of all a great sense of humor. Thank you for this, you will by my Friday Hyggelig.

Helen Bushell said...

Oh I love it! Just found you through Stephanie Levy's site and I'm glad I did. Three pesky gnomes, trickle of visitors and a chorus of sock monkeys... all too much, and too much fun!