it does seem rather mean to 'rat' on my 'tempter' now that he has made amends for the 'panini episode of 2008'...
i do believe a two year subscription to selevedge, (a magazine i love, but yet find myself unable to cough up the dollar amount myself), is enough for me to find closure on the whole panini 'happy 40th' business that has plagued my thoughts for over a year.
the irony of the panini maker situation is seeing it become the most beloved item in the kitchen (not by me you understand, but by my clan).
when ever it is reached for i 'sigh'... and then who ever is with me quips
"but you have to admit it, what a great gift. look how many times you've used it"...
only last week as our #2 lay upon the couch muttering words of "...yep, i think it might be swine flu" and feeling quite sorry for herself. i served up a panini that was cremated on the outside but with the brie still unmelted on the inside. i actually stood and marvelled for sometime at how one can achieve such a badly cooked panini... how i kept that brie unmelted is still a mystery to me.
but you did not come here today for me to go 'soft' on my tempter, for that would never do...
no, you came here today for me to 'unveil' this awful tormentor of 'new things' that shares the same mossy shed as me...
and so i shall...
dearest readers i must tell you a tale from a few days back,
a tale from the life of moi,
trying to stay on the straight and narrow path of 'handcrafted, thrifty' goodness
but with a 'tempter' in her midst...
last friday, my man and i went out together to Costco for groceries.
i don't like Costco at all, but it is a necessary evil for a family of our size and one that is mainly done by my man.
but this time i went along to escape (that's what you have to do as your kids get older, you have to go out, to escape them...)
not two steps inside the warehouse and my man darts over to an enormous pile of 'thick walking' socks.
"how could he" i thought, (my weakness being 'thick woolly' socks of any color)
i walked on past but damn him, he loitered further with a "look, a pack of four... see Tif, they are really thick. just what we need"
i turned around aghast, "have you forgotten already, we are not allowed to buy such items remember?"
"but they are such a good deal."
"that is not my problem, i have some in my drawer you are welcome to borrow"
"but technically i'm not doing this challenge with you so i can buy them" he offered up
"nope, you can't... i can not be seen to condone you buying new, therefore if you are with me, you can't buy them, so put them back"
i purposefully moved forward...
a few seconds later i had lost him again,
this time he was found admiring 'holiday lights'.
for a second i was speechless ("impossible" i hear you cry)...
then i regained my voice, once again striding purposefully towards this tempter in my midst...
"what are you doing?" i cried
"but look Tif..." his voice trailing off
"we have an attic full of holiday lights for the house, and surely you can see they are not handcrafted in any way, the box says, mass produced in China"
"but these are LED ones and more to the point, a fantastic price"
"i don't care, we cannot buy them"
"but it will save us money to run them, doesn't that count?"
"put them back, i cannot have these lights in our cart or on our shed. even if they are cost efficient"
"no, no, no"
"no, no, no"
and so it went on...
the next day, whilst sitting around the table eating a meal, walton's style. our #1 and #2 started sniggering as the tale was retold... mumbling words of "oooh, were the lights not doilified" and other such things.
the sniggering stopped when i voiced the word 'christmas' and started discussing all the lovely handcrafted doilified items i was working on for them.
their faces went dead pan,
"you're not for real are you?" our #1 squeaked
"dead serious... i'm actually having trouble buying anything new, it just feels wrong, like i'm cheating. so if you wish for something that is new, you better talk sweetly to your dad, for he's in charge this year."
to which he looked at me with 'desperation' in his eyes, knowing for years what we all know to be true... there is no Father Christmas, only Mother Christmas.
and this year, she is toughening up...
she is thinking about little olive and her 'disgrace' at puppy training class last night ~ Tif