a festival of 'granny love' ~ day five

and so dearest 'granny loving' festival goers we come to the end of our crafty gathering...

i think it is quite true to say, we have seen some fine talent amongst us... i also know it's true to say there are so many others out there in the 'granny chic' world that are unsung heros of the movement.

quietly going about their 'hooker' ways, slowly filling the earth we tread upon with warm crocheted goodness.

but before we trawl back to our tents for one more evening around the camp fires, let us finish off our festival of 'granny chic' with a special guest on stage...

so with out 'further a do' i introduce to you the lovely emma lamb.

(whoops and applause all around)

thanks emma for joining us at the end of our festival, of course many of us here today have already seen the work you do, marvelling at your ability to put a mosiac picture together and i think we all agree your treasuries for etsy are quite extraordinarily beautiful...

but i think the thing that intriques me most is your ablitities with the hook and needle.

if i can just tell our festival goers a little bit about how i met you and then we will get on with our 'question of crafting' finale...

a couple of years back i learnt to crochet, driven to it by the insane jealousy of seeing all things beautiful in the knitted world and then discovering the 'detail' turned out to be crocheted. i wanted these beautiful things i saw before me with a passion, and yet my lack of 'crocheting' knowledge was holding me back.

i took one whole month and sat down day after day until i untaught my brain to need two hands moving and retaught it to accept one hand moving. and with that began my love for crochet.

after a while i launched into a circlular cushion ("how hard could it be" i told myself)... well it went totally pear shaped to the point where i was so fed up i did a mortal sin, i tossed it in the bin, not even bothering to salvage the yarn... i was done.

and then in my little inbox came a message.

and that message was from the lovely emma, offering up her fool proof pattern for a granny round cushion. of course she had no idea that i was a complete and utter fool when it came to reading patterns and so i thanked her most kindly for her generous gift and then stared blankly at her instructions.

then it dawned on me after two days of staring blankly, why tear my graying hair out when there was a crafter out there doing her wonderful thing with 'granny' goodness... 'save my hair' and support a crafter at the same time, how perfect and so that's when i commissioned emma to make me a cushion, and from there our friendship has grown.

and now you find us together, side by side up on the main stage of this fab festival sharing a love of 'yarn' and 'granny chic'... so as the night draws in, our lanterns are lit and our knitted socks are keeping us warm, let's settle in for

an 'evening with emma lamb'...

tif: thanks for being here tonight emma, would you mind telling us a little about yourself and what makes you tick?

emma: i'm an english girl living in Scotland, but i've been here so long now (almost thirteen years) that i've picked up a wee bit of a scottish accent... :) i live with my man and my dog (my wee man) Spanner, he's an english cocker spaniel and full to bursting with his own wee personality. i design appliques and embroideries for childrens wear as my day job... and by night i'm a demon with a crochet hook or knitting needles... that is if i can tear myself away from flickr, etsy and blogland for five minutes... ;) oh, and i'm addicted to chocolate!

tif: would you mind recalling your earliest memory of creating something and what your gifted hands made?

emma: my earliest creating memory is from nursery school, about four years old... every day i would make a bee line for the painting easel and i clearly remember doing wee scenic paintings, you know ~ a strip of green at the bottom for the grass, a strip of blue at the top for the sky, a big green tree on the left and a bright yellow sunshine in the top corner! the rule was that you could only do one painting a day! but i have vivid memories of bending the truth a little so that i could eek out at least two or three paintings... ;)
my earliest crochet memory is of sitting in the kitchen with my mam, i think i was about five or six, not sure... anyway, we had our crochet hooks in hand and were working on lots of wee squares to make a good old fashioned acrylic granny blanket, with any colour yarn that happened to be at hand! i remember at that time i didn't know how to make the wee chain loop so i would pass my hook and yarn to my mam to get me started then i would happily build little squares all day... :)

tif: how many hours a day do you donate to getting a 'crafting fix'?

emma: i probably get in around six hours of applique and embroidery thanks to my day job, then in the evenings i try to ignore all the household chores that need doing and squeeze in a couple of hours crocheting or knitting while watching a bit of tv... 'Road Wars' is my current guilty pleasure!

tif: i am very suspicious that you are a flickr addict, or is that my imagination?

emma: totally addicted! it's the hub for everyone who blogs or makes and sells online, and it is such a wealth of inspiration... and i love, love, love all the groups and being able to share your pics with like minded folk. once i figured out how to set up my own groups and send out invitations i got sucked in completely. seriously, i can lose hours searching for the perfect pics to invite to 'all colours in' or 'granny chic'. but one of my favourite things to do is browse through other peoples favourites folder, it sends you in every direction to find the most beautiful images you might not come across otherwise! oh, and how can i forget the mosaics! i could make mosaics till the cows came home... ;)

tif: how would you describe your sense of style when it comes to crafting, and perhaps your style of dressing... does your craft influence your dressing?

emma: hmm, i'm not really sure there is a name for my key style... obviously 'granny chic' is a massive influence in my crochet at the moment, but it's colour that inspires my crafting the most. i do have a soft spot for the 'all colours in' approach which probably stems from my day job designing stuff for childrens wear... and i love playing with colour combinations, which is probably apparent from my flickr mosaics and etsy treasuries.but when it comes to my style of dressing and decorating i prefer a much calmer colour scheme... i live in my jeans so there is a lot of dark indigo, and i like mixing it with really strong colours such as olive, charcoal, red, teal, turquoise and russet. in my wee flat i have a lot of chocolate and deep burgundy against a backdrop of white and cream... although my studio is a riot of colour, but at the end of the day i like to close the door and enjoy the calm... :)

tif: if you happened to be hosting a 'yak and yarn' party, who would you like to invite?

emma: honestly, i would love to invite some of the wonderful cyber buddies i've met through blogging. while it’s great to have these lovely virtual friendships it would be amazing to gather everyone together for one big crafting session where we can ’oooh’ and ‘ahhh’ over what each other is doing! of course my wee man Spanner would have to be there too, so the invitation would extend to everyone's wee pals!but if i'm pushed to invite someone more well known, it would have to be someone like Jessica Ogden or Nathalie Chanin because of their amazing embroidery and clothes making talent... or maybe Tord Boontje or Rob Ryan for their paper cutting skills... i'm always attracted to the work of people who pay attention to the small details.as for where, well once i make my fortune(!) i will be the proud owner of a georgian townhouse in Edinburgh's beautiful new town! the rooms are huge with fabulous high ceilings and stunning sash windows that let in so much light... so i would invite everyone to my house for tea and cake, and i make a mean chocolate fudge cake and lemon drizzle cake too!

tif: i know you too are a fellow chocaholic, but what's you favorite?

emma: pretty much anything with at least 60% cocoa content... if pushed i would choose Green & Black's because it has enough of a bitter edge so i don't devour the entire bar in one go! and if i was being indulgent it would have to be Lindt Lindor (60% cocoa)... although a friend of mine recently introduced me to Dolfin chocolate and they do a gorgeous bar with pink peppercorns ~ not too spicy but with a lovely fragrant flavour... hmmm, i prefer to think of myself as a little bit of a connoisseur rather than an addict... :)

tif: when you started crafting, who or what inspired you to go down such a righteous and goodly path?

emma: to be honest it is something i have always done... i have always been creative in some way and it's always been an inherent part of who i am, i really can't remember a time when i haven't been creative or crafting... my mam taught me to knit and crochet when i was five or six years old, at school i loved to draw and paint, and it was at school that i remember trying embroidery for the first time. i suppose a key decision was when i finished school at sixteen and i decided to go to art college rather than study 'A' levels. i did a foundation style course, so in the first year i tried my hand at every thing from embroidery to architecture, and in the second year i decided to focus on textile design. that's when i came to Edinburgh and focused solely on printed textiles. after that i went directly into freelance work designing womens wear. initially my work was mostly hand painted fabric but over the years applique, embroidery and crochet became my preferred techniques and i've moved into designing for childrens wear... and now, thanks to etsy and my blog, i've got a wider outlet for my love of knitting and crochet and i'm enjoying the new direction it's leading me... :)

tif: would you run a marathon naked for charity?

emma: no, no way, no how... i'm not a natural runner and never have been, at school i used to skip the PE lessons and go to art class instead... and trust me you don't want to see me naked, too many wobbly bits these days!

tif: well put it another way then, have you ever attempted to knit or crochet a bikini or underpants, if not would you consider doing so and then running a marathon in all your 'finery'?

emma: what is it with you and your obsession with crochet bikinis!? ...i haven't and to be honest i don't think it has ever crossed my mind, and no i don't think i would consider it for a second... how about you!?

tif: now that would be telling!

tif: do you have a crafting skill you have yet to master?

emma: i've always wanted to learn how make my own clothes, but it's one of those things that i just don't seem to be able to find the time for. there are a few japanese crafting books i have my eye on because the patterns look fairly simple, so maybe one day soon! ... and i've also always wanted to give hand quilting a go, but again there just aren't enough hours in the day! oh, and i really want to learn more about photography but i think that will come with practice and remembering to take my camera where ever i go!

tif: do you carry a 're-use' bag where ever you go?

emma: i try to, we do have a stack of bags that we always take to do our food shopping and i have a specific tote bag that i take when i go fabric or yarn shopping. my rule is that i can only buy whatever will fit into it and no more, i say rule, it's actually more of a guideline... unless there's a sale on, then the rules and guidelines tend to go straight out the window!

tif: if there was one thing you would like to be remembered for, what would it be?

emma: obviously i would like to be remembered for my good looks, wit and charm... ;) but it's more likely that i'll be remembered as the one who called her dog Spanner!

tif: what's in your secret black crafty book, does it contain 'secrets of the utmost kind'?

emma: i have a multitude of ideas i want to try and every day i'm being inspired and adding to the list... but really, that would be telling!

tif: if you had to choose between fabric or yarn, who would win your heart?

emma: really, that's an impossible question to answer... okay, how about this ~ fabric, because i could also cut it up into thin strips for knitting and crochet! woo-hoo!!!

tif: have you ever cooked a fish in a dishwasher before?

emma: nope! i've never even owned a dishwasher, and my current kitchen is way too piddly, even for a work top sized one! it's rubber gloves and oven baked fish all the way for me!

how fabulous of emma to humor me with her wonderful answers tonight, i think we all agree that was a brilliant way to finish up our 'granny' festival... i also know there will be a lot of you that would like to come on over and meet emma, she has lots of examples of her work on display, some of which are here tonight.

you can also find emma on etsy seven days a week and so it just leaves me to say thankyou to ingrid, michelle, my man and emma for being such lovely guests, a big 'hurrah' to you, my dearest readers who for the past week have 'camped out' with me under the stars supporting my festival of 'granny love'...

and also to the fab victoria for giving me space on her truly beautiful blog, to ramble about my addictions.

sad as i am to being leaving in the morning, i take with me such fond memories, and of course many inspired thoughts from the talented crafters i have met... i shall look forward to meeting up with you, over on our 'granny chic' flickr pool, where the lovely emma has promoted me to great, great granny... giving me responsiblities i could only of dreamed of, until two days ago.

fare thee well, my 'granny loving' festival goers, you have made me proud to be a 'granny chic' addict...

she will see you on tuesday, and if you don't mind just checking for litter when you leave, that would be a great help for her and her clean up crew, aka 'little olive', 'used dog' and some backyard chickens ~ Tif

footynote: all images today, flew in with emma lamb from scotland, she is the lovely owner of them and sadly i am not :)

a festival of 'granny love' ~ day four

on day four of our 'granny loving' festival i bring before you 'a doubter' on center stage...

and this doubter goes by the name of 'my man'.

(a ripple of hushed murmers and nodding heads runs through the crowd).

i share my story, if by chance i may give some of you 'hope'.

the some of you that perhaps are living with a "NO" person...

a person that constantly doubts your granny loving ways, as you strive your best with a hook and yarn, or perhaps return to your home with a thrifted number or two tucked under your arm... only to listen to a barrage of 'doubting' for the rest of the day. for those that live with 'doubters' that lost their rose colored spectacles long ago, this one's for you.

giving you the strength to never give up the chance, one day your nearest and dearest will discover their specs in some dark forgotten drawer, seeing the light for the first time and be converted to the ways of the 'granny chic' movement...

and so if you are sitting comfortably on your afghans, with your favorite tipple beside you and yarn in hand, then i shall begin

last week i announced to my man at ten o'clock friday evening that i needed him desperately, he looked rather interested until i finished up quickly with

"because i found this cupboard wardrobe thing on craigslist yesterday, i went to see it today and paid a deposit, but i have no way of getting it home by myself..."

as he looked quite crestfallen, i quickly added in, a little sobby bit about me and Mr Vertigo and how trying it had been for moi.

getting over his disappointment of my late night demand (or lack of), he soon started to question my need for a cupboard wardrobe thing and where on earth was i going to put it. and more to the point what was i doing searching for furniture on craigslist when we have a mossy shed full of it...

"aaah well, you see i was feeling rather low about my spinning world and so cheered myself up by perusing the vintage furniture section" i replied, "and then i saw it... just the most loveliest of lovely mid century granny wardrobe that i would have been a fool not to give a home to.

besides i liked her inners".

with a sigh, he agreed to be my 'lifter' the next morning.

we arrived on time to collect my little treasure. as we pulled up to the open garage where she was waiting to come home with me, he scoffed

"mid century my foot" and then turned to tell me it wasn't too late to leave it where it was.

"fat chance" i said.

i paid the money that i had begged and borrowed from our #4, we loaded my 'find' into the back of the van and headed off...

"well, we just made that guy's day... not only did we take a piece of crappy furniture off his hands, we even paid him $75 to do it!" and then my man roared with laughter, thinking himself most funny.

a few hundred yards down the road he again quizzed me on my exact use for my "piece of junk", of course i had no exact thoughts other than a vague use for storing all my old linens etc, but then it popped into my head...
"well, once i have painted it and done it all up, so it looks just peachy perfect, i shall be using it in my studio until i am a granny. then i shall place it in the bedroom that my grandchildren will use when they come to stay. it will add a certain granny vintage charm to their lives".

to which he replied

"that's perfect! of course... it will be the wardrobe in the corner of the room that gives all your grandchildren nightmares whenever they come to stay" to which, once again he chuckled.

i think now, dear 'granny loving' festival goers, you are truly able to see before us 'a doubter of the utmost kind'. who has lost his way, along with his rose colored specs, wandering without direction in the world of decorating and all that is tasteful.

several days later, after some serious sanding and four coats of paint whilst ignoring Mr Vertigo and his dizzying temptations, i asked my man if he could move my new treasure into her final resting space. and that is when it happened, a miracle that keeps us 'hoping and a praying' for others who are blinded to the charms of 'granny chic'...

he was lost but now he's found,

he was in the dark, but now he sees the light,

for as we shifted my lovely 'craigslist' find into place, next to my other lovely craigslist find (my desk), he remarked

"mmmm, bet if that guy saw it now, he would never part with his cupboard... what a great find!"

and went on his way chuckling to himself...

and so today we shall rejoice in the knowledge that it is possible to falter from the path of righteousness and all that is granny chic, and still find your way back.

and with a bit of luck this little tale of mine will give you,

hope if you need it,

a reason to believe in your 'granny loving' ways

and comfort when you've heard another "NO"

as you try to sneak in a little crocheted cushion onto the couch...

with that she is off to her little tent to stay up to the wee hours, with head lamp on, practising the fine art of 'chevron' crocheting ~ Tif

a festival of 'granny love' ~ day three

for the past few days the weather has been just perfect for our festival of 'granny love'... warm temperatures in the day, allowing for us to show our true eclectic bohemian selves in the wardrobe department.

and when dusk falls, bringing out our crocheted afghans and recycled quilts to keep us warm whilst we sit late into the night crafting and chatting... children by our sides, contented to twiddle with yarn and sticks, looking upon us as though we were the best things since sliced bread.

never complaining about being bored and or asking questions like "was there TV when you were young?" or as my youngest often starts a sentence with "when dinosaurs roamed the earth did you.........?" whilst rolling about in fits of laughter.

on day three i look to the fields surrounding our little gathering and marvel at the array of handcrafted tents and line after line of brightly colored bunting, causing the whole hillside to look like a magical land of crafting wonders... oh, how i wish we could stay here forever, but alas the real world is beckoning us back in a few days and so we must delve straight in with today's look at 'granny love'.

i thought it most lovely if we left the main stage and headed out into the side marquees where there is a wealth of 'granny chicness' on display.

delightful snippets of 'grannified' living for us to wander past, finding inspiration, openingly gawping at the talent laid out before us and generally admiring the 'vingettes of granniness'.

so as i hop off the stage, (with the aid of one or two helpers, due to mr vertigo, who i am pleased to report is having less frequent visits with me) and head over to the marquees, please feel free to tag alongside...

{candi mandi}

{selmaoglinea}

{kristenaderrick}

{gigibird}

{yummygoods}

{wood & wool stool}

{smile and wave}

how lovely was that? what a perfect way to spend day three of 'granny loving'...

and if you are not quite ready to hit your 'handcrafted' sleeping bags then i invite you to join me for a late night meeting over at Victoria's lovely blog 'sfgirlbybay'... where she so very kindly invited me to be a guest poster.

and as 'granny chic' is very much on my mind this week it seemed only fitting to spread the 'granny love'...

she will return tomorrow with 'a doubter' of the granny chic movement (gasp, shock, horror) ~ Tif

footynote: please note all images in the marquees belong to their rightful 'granny loving' artists and crafters, linked below :)

a festival of 'granny love' ~ day two

starring on today's main stage of our festival of 'granny love' we have another talented crocheter... of course 'granny chic' is made up of more than crochet but some how crochet seems to sum up the whole feeling of 'grannyism'... and i am particularly drawn to it, knowing i can only marvel at the skills involved when actually achieving a non squiffy granny square or crocheting in a circle, and it staying in a circle...

today's 'wonder whizz with the hook' (does it get any better than that!) is the lovely Michelle.

now, i have known Michelle for as long as i can remember i have been blogging... she appeared in my comments one day, and then the next, and then the next. she returned day after day to leave her little bits of 'humor'.

despite my rubbishy replies to her lovely words, she continued to be there and so our friendship developed through her kindness and our mutual horror at both suddenly finding ourselves turning 40 in the blink of an eye... grieving for our days dressed in Dr Martin boots and hair dyed every color of the rainbow.

i like Michelle for many reasons, not least her forgiveness of my lack of words, but mainly because she lives 'down under' which sounds so exotic (far away lands and all they entail). she experiences things like the excitement of Christmas with hot weather, she loves all vintage, she runs a pub (yes! i know), she has chickens in her backyard, she maintains two blogs, she has an etsy store and best of all she crochets.

i have no idea when Michelle actually finds time to crochet and i am beginning to suspect that the elves that never show up at my place are in fact living life with her.

and quite right too, if ever there was someone who was well deserving of several elves helping out at night then it is she...

the latest project to receive Michelle's caring ways is Mr Vintage...

a rather neglected but handsombe trailer... she saw his potential straight away where others may have walked on by. she knew he had many good years left in him. he seemed a steady kind of guy, perhaps a bit rough around the edges but non the less a rugged charm, a girl finds hard to resist...

so do you see why i suspect Michelle does not sleep, but i for one am glad. for if she spent most nights 'shut eyed' then we would never be able to have this opportunity to appreciate her lovely 'granny loving' ways and i would not have the opportunity to own one of her lovely 'granny love' cushions.

Michelle is yet another fine example of 'granny chic'... quite different from Ingrid's but equally as 'grannified' and 'charming' i think you will agree...

she is off to watch little olive sleep and try to finish off yet another attempt at a granny blanket ~ Tif

footynote: all images except the last one belong to the talented Michelle and her elves

a festival of 'granny love' ~ day one

this week we are going to push 'mr vertigo' to one side and let him know we are done with his 'dizzying' charms... no longer do we require his 'swaying motions' and what better way to ignore his 'spinning world' than to concentrate on something that makes us happy...

("what would that be then Tif?" i hear you cry)

well since you asked, it makes me happy to know (and i'm quite sure it will make you happy too), there is a 'term' for all the things i love, be it in the home, be it worn upon my body or be it created with my gnarly hands.

for years i have gone about 'crafting' in some shape or form, but since the grand move to Mossy Shed i have been 'gripped' by the charms of 'grannyism' and all that comes with it...

be it a doily,

a potholder,

a piece of bark cloth,

a wall of vintage paper,

a chicken,

or a crocheted cushion.

it all adds up to an eclecticness that is known as 'granny chic'...

i know this to be true because i have come across the 'term' many times in recent weeks, and it seems to be the most wonderful way to describe 'what i like to do' and 'what i like to see'.

so without 'further a do' we shall jump right in and 'marvel'... ney, 'gasp'... ney, 'shed a tear' at the sheer beauty we see before us, courtesy of the lovely Ingrid.

this talented lady with a hook, is the crocheting genius behind wood & wool stool, now some of you may recall me mentioning my love of her stools before. so i'm delighted that Ingrid has agreed to be part of my 'granny chic loving' festival this week...

i find it hard to put into words how her pictures and creations make me feel, so many emotions run riot in my head when i look upon them, but i think it's the whole styling of the photos that really makes me weak at the knees... (and an undeniable envy of her crocheting talents, which i do not mind admitting)

i can't think of a better example of the recent mood for all things 'granny chic' but cleverly combining it with a fresh twist, showing us just how easy it is to add a little bit of 'grannyism' to our lives without going over the top. which for some, i am sure can be an issue... especially if you live with a vocal "NO" person within your four walls when it comes to interior decor matters. but sneaking in a wee little stool with a happy cover on it, surely would be no problem... sitting quietly in the corner, never needing to be fed and never answering back, all the time adding that vital bit of 'granny love' to give your space a homely crafty feel without your "NO" person protesting...

Ingrid has mentioned to me that she will be working on an english version of her beautiful website (hurrah!), thus allowing people like moi who are totally pants at any language other than their mother tongue to figure out how to go about getting hold of her beautiful crocheted delights...

in the meantime, if like me, you are feverishly raiding your piggy bank, or the children's, having just seen these beautiful images before you... knowing you can not live another day without a woolly covered, granny squared stool in your life, do not fear, for Ingrid tells me, just drop her a line at info@woodwoolstool.com and she will be happy to help.

and so it just leaves me to thank the lovely Ingrid for her 'crocheting goodness' and allowing me to share it with you...

she is off to add

'stool, but not just any stool'

to her birthday list and will continue the festival of 'granny loving' tomorrow ~ Tif

footynote: please note all pictures belong to the talented Ingrid and her 'wood & wool' stools :)

it's all a blur...

i'm going to be taking a few days off due to my unbalanced state, apparently what i am experiencing is not the usual form of 'unbalanced' for moi, acording to the doc i saw today...

and so with a bit of luck and some medication, i will be back to my usual unbalanced state by next week and be out of this strange, 'oooh, why is the world swaying' unbalanced state i am in now...

which if i'm honest is doing my head in, driving me crazy and causing me untold 'creative' misery. but apart from that, everythings peachy perfect...

she will see you on monday with a week of granny chic 'show and telling' ~ Tif

a shelf of many coats...

please excuse my absence yesterday, i was having an 'unbalanced' day but i'm here now and with news of little olive feeling much 'bonnier' than before.

she is turning out to be just the most loveliest of dogs and seems to be perfectly content with life at mossy shed.

she's spends most of her time out and about in the yard with used dog and the chickens, all one big happy family... on the chicken front there have been several morning 'mayhems' in the coop, due to 'big bertha' wishing to be known as 'big bert'.

i have tried to explain to her that it really isn't the right thing to insist on, but so far she has not heeded my wise words and continues to be most vocal...

this week is my first week since school got out where i have had a few hours to myself, thanks to the wonder of 'summer soccer' camp and my two eldest being involved with something up at the high school.

i could be using my time cleaning toilets

or washing clothes,

or preparing an evening meal ahead of time

or changing beds,

or vacuuming up used dog's hair

or other such delights that fills one's week so nicely...

but no dear readers, i did not squander my precious few hours on such 'nonsense'. instead i took those golden moments and spent them wisely with my long neglected 'miss ethel' who has waited patiently for my attentions, all the time gathering dust...

we did what we like to do best, we made a curtain... i don't know what it is about window panels and such, but i really like making them. of course there are only so many windows in our shed that i can bequeath my 'crafted recycled' beauties upon.

certain members of my clan draw the line at having such 'frills' festooned across their glass... and so i always fall back to my faithful studio bookcase when i need to get my 'crafting fix of draperies'...

this time i used some beautiful crocheted rings my friend sent from her local market in denmark...

and so once again our furniture is doing 'a little dance', due to the arrival of 'miss olive' and her need to 'lick' anything remotely 'nice looking' in the way of midcentury legs

she is building up to a 'granny chic' festival of celebration any day now ~ Tif

a case of the 'runs'...

i look like a new mum, (unwashed hair and yesterday's clothes),

and i smell like a new mum (sick and diarrhea)...

in the past twenty four hours i have marvelled many times at just how much 'yuck' can come out of one so small as 'little olive'.

at 7 pm last night i marvelled to my man, the volume of the clear up operation that i had started that day,

at 3 am this morning, i marvelled in hushed tones to the silent night, "where does it keep coming from?"...

at 7 am this morning, i marvelled again in my bedraggled smelly state, to anyone who was awake to listen, again the bulk of the situation.

and at 12 pm this lunchtime i re-marvelled to my vet, the 'enormity of the quantity' that had left this little doggie rather sad and tired.

as little olive rests, i have spent way too much time this afternoon, chasing a blimen' chicken.

i am quite sure if someone were to be secretly videoing my moment of 'mass hysteria' and show me at a later date, i might chuckle... but chuckling i was not at the time.

tired, smelling of sick dog and realizing after my man had fixed the hole in the fence that one silly chicken was not where it should be...

and that silly chicken was 'little voice'.

by the time our #1 had got her back in the fold i must confess rather nasty words had left my lips...

"oh, just stay there you flippin' hen" i shouted, "just leave her."

"you don't mean that mum, imagine if she got squidged on the road, then we would all have to hear you wailing for days to come" our #1 shouted back as we tried to corner the frisky thing.

"i do... i do mean it..."

and then i said 'it' dearest readers, the most unforgivable thing to say to a chicken you wish to be friends with and encourage to keep you going in the 'egg department' for several years.

i said the 'C' word...

i know,

a terrible, abusively verbal crime has been committed to one of my chickens and by moi, myself.

i said

"you know chicken..." (actually, i shouted it rather loudly, sounding like a deranged woman with not a lot left to give),

"you know chicken, if ever there was a chicken that deserved to be eaten by a bloody coyote it's you, little blimen' voice."

gasp, shock and a lot of horror...

in my defence, however pathetic it may sound, i must tell you... i was a 'woman undone' by many hours filled with 'shit shovelling' and few hours filled with 'sleep' but it is still unforgivable. and on that note, i turned on my heel and headed indoors to 'wash my hands' of saving 'little voice' from the big bad road or the jaws of a coyote.

our #1 did not however stoop to her mother's level and patiently waited for 'little voice' to 'come to her senses' and go through the gate to the back yard.

and why do i feel so bad about shouting the 'C' word at my chicken, i'll tell you why...

because my 'sweet six' have started 'a laying', the most amazing gift a chicken can give and they started to do this several days ago.

i am a proud mother hen and after i finish up 'tippity tapping' these words i shall go back out to the yard, cup of tea in hand, newly bathed 'olive' in the other and find 'little voice' to apologize...

with a bit of luck (and 'cause she's a chicken with short term memory issues) she will forgive my 'momentary breakdown' and offer up an egg for breakfast tomorrow...

she is hoping her night is not full of 'crap' again and wishing you all a 'crap free' weekend ~ Tif ;)

and the winner is...

it warms my heart to know that i am not the only one that appears to live in a dream world half the time. i have enjoyed each and every one of your 'creature wishes' and quite honestly, have been overwhelmed by the number of entrants...

the tough job of picking a winner has been laid upon the wee shoulders of little olive. originally 'used dog' was up for the challenge but 'life living with a young pup' has caused her to need quite a few extra 'rests' and so this afternoon as 'used dog' puts her paws up, little olive stepped in.

i am quite sure i shall live to regret inviting her to be 'chief winner' picker, she has sampled a bowl full of torn up paper and now realizes what all of her 12 weeks on this earth have been missing.

after picking out the winner, she then went on to pick out another, and another, and another... managing to get her wee chops around rather a large number of entrants.

once the bowl was removed from her reach she went off in search of newspaper, thus settling in for an afternoon of 'ripping, shredding and chewing'...

a grave mistake on my behalf, next time i require a 'winner picker', i shall be locating a 'likely looking' chicken from the backyard, or should i say my neighbors yard... that's right, my chickie peas have discovered the 'golden garden' that lies beyond the fence, so much more appealing with it's carefully planted hebeceous borders. i am staying indoors and not looking, in the hope it all goes away and my little chickens will not be accused of 'crimes against the neighborhood yards'...

and so we have a winner, mouth picked by little olive,

and that winner is

mel design heaven

with

"I am going with a fluffy puppy and lion cub. Both would stay little and cute forever. And perfect for those days when you had too much wine the night before and you just want something soft and cuddly to snuggle up next to you on the sofa."

a worthy winner i think you will agree,

but wait! i have more...

because quite frankly i couldn't let this 'creature' pass by unnoticed

so we have another winner, handpicked by moi,

and that winner is

ms mildred

with

"I have to say, with no hesitation, that I would love my creature, if time and reality be no object, to be a baby dragon. My dad always made up medieval dragon fairy tales for me to go along with his tattoos, and I always wanted to be a raggedy, independent princess who had her own dragon whom she could nestle in her pocket. Of course, it might grow into a protector of sorts, which is always handy. Lastly, dragon's name would, of course, be dragon. Because thinking up the perfect name is too impossible when faced with such a fantastic creature."

ms mildred will receive a 'dottie angel' something or other because quite honestly i just love the reason behind her 'creature wish' and the visual that i got when reading her reasons.

well done to mel and ms mildred, please contact me (tif@dottieangel.com) and i'll be sure to send your winnings, hoppity quick via snail mail...

she's off to stop the 'bulldozing' going on in her small patch of daffodil bulbs and will be back tomorrow with more news of the 'feathered' kind ~ Tif

'summer apron wrap' give away...

yes!!! it's time for a 'give away'...

i will be leaving you for a few days, as i travel to the east coast to be reunited with our #1 after seven weeks of separation (gulp!), and so i felt it the perfect time to have a little 'summer apron wrap' give away.

i also thought that having little olive come to reside at mossy shed, 300 posts on my wee blog and over 200 sales in my little store was cause for a 'celebratory' offer...

it's so very easy peasy my dearest readers, all you have to do is dig deep into your 'imagination' and locate where you placed the little drawer marked

'creatures i wish to take into my nest and keep warm'

i'm sure we all have a little or big creature that roams this earth, that if 'sensibleness' were no object, we would like to share a life with them.

i shall start the ball rolling but do not fear, i am not going to put my own name in the 'dog bowl' because that would be daft wouldn't it... yes i thought you'd think so.

we shall look upon 'my creature i wish to take into my nest to keep warm' as an example for others to read and perhaps trigger a long lost thought that is in the back of their minds and has been filed away forever and a day.

until this moment that is, when suddenly it all becomes most important and relevant for 'winning' a dottie angel summer apron wrap.

as my nest is rather bulgy at the moment and of course we cannot forget my man has made it quite clear it's full to the max and no room for other 'waifs and strays' that may happen upon our doorstep, my example truly is one of 'wishing' but never actually 'having' (although i must just say, one should never say "never", because i do believe where there's a 'will' there is always a 'way'...)

here goes with mine...

i wish to feather my nest further with two goats, one called gertie and the other called bertie... i know that is rather silly, but quite honestly i do think goats can be rather silly and they prefer to have rhyming names to make them feel super duper silly on days when the weather is miserable, the brambles are in short supply and the TV isn't working so well because no one has bothered to fix the ariel on top of their shed.

a pretty ordinary creature wish i feel,
of course, you lovely lot will have far more interesting 'critter wishes' upon your list, ignoring the practicalities of where you live or the reality of actually owning such a creature, i'm sure you will not disappoint...

if i asked our #4, he would pipe up with a 'narwhal', perfectly understandable as they are rather interesting but of course completely out of the question as i have very little water in my back yard at the mo. come winter time, a small lake appears but it still would not be enough to keep a 'narwhal' happy and content...

so if you fancy winning the 'summer apron wrap' you see before you, just leave your 'creature' comment here, or email me with your 'creature' wish and i will be sure to add it to the dog bowl on my return from Rhode Island and dare i say it... New York with my girls!

and all the time keeping my fingers crossed that the 'one man and two boys' left back at the shed don't forget about little olive and her 'needs'...

she will be back to announce the winner on Thursday 13th August, with tales to tell from the big apple and a whole lot of 'granny chic' loving, till then she wishes you a lovely few days ~ Tif