Monday, January 26

monday monday...

i am very busy and super importantly, procrastinating this morning...it always seems to happen to me on a monday. the shed is emptied of noisy occupants and i am left just with my thoughts and 'used' dog for company. she too feels it...taking a long time to 'wake up', it is now nearly 11am and she has yet to 'get up'...i do feel extremely lucky to have a dog that doesn't require a 'crack of dawn' pee, but prefers to just sleep in on her thrift store blanket...not sure how i got to be so blessed but i must have done something good somewhere...
now i should being doing some sewing


but instead i am surrounded by piles of laundry that i started yesterday morning, Miss W. Machine is on the blink and has taken to leaving all items in her care extremely soaky...Mrs Dryer in return is staging a protest and refusing to extract any moisture from 'said soggy' mess. i fear i will have to go 'shopping' for a newer model. she has, bless her given me many years of faithful service, but ever since we moved a year ago, she really hasn't felt herself.
i have been in denial, making excuses for her...saying things like "i understand, the weather effects me as well" or "that's okay you take it easy, we'll just wear our 'used' underpants for one more day until you feel better"...but enough is enough, action must be taken for the sake of my children and their underpants.

the thing is, and let this be a lesson to all who are foolishly about to tread down the path that i 'trod' down many years ago.

do not give appliances names...

you name them, you give them feelings, then when they are 'no longer' pulling their weight , you can't give them up because you feel crappy about it...i must be strong though, a job that should take me one day a week is now taking me a two and a half...so i shall be taking myself down to our local appliance store to find a newer model (doesn't that sound heartless...'trading in' for a 'newer' model. ooh that's got to hurt the old gal).
i don't require 'bells or whistles'...i just want a machine that has easy to follow buttons (thus dismissing the need to read a manual) and if i find such a machine i will read her the 'terms of employment' (being which i have listed below) and if she accepts, i hope to live happily ever after with my new machine...

1. to wash, (most importantly) without complaint, all types of laundry perfectly. whether it be 'delicates' or 'soccer kits' and if i happen to press a wrong button, to automatically correct this 'faux pas'...
2. to 'dye' slips perfectly without blotches or streaks and to 'self clean' afterwards when i forget
3. to not 'squeak loudly' like Mrs W. Machine had a tendency to do when she was in pain
4. to try and look less like a big white appliance and more like a handcrafted decorative item.

and in return i promise
1. to give you a name
2. to promptly wipe up all cat sick that appears on you at random times of the day and night (oops, did i mention the cats sleep on top of you)
3. to not 'shout loudly' when you don't miraculously clean soccer gear spotless because i put it in on a 'delicate 2 minute cycle', it isn't your fault that you have an owner that doesn't read manuals
4. to put a pretty 'something' on your door, perhaps maybe along the lines of this, to make you feel loved and 'creative' as you 'do your thing'...

now if i can just get past my feelings of 'guilt' about Miss W. Machine...

she's thanking you kindly for the 'thrifting' support...and oh blimey fancy that, it's nearly wednesday again, 'turn left' day is here again! ~ Tif

4 comments:

Gigibird said...

I cried when my old sofas were taken away - we are slaves to our sentiments Tiffy

Diane said...

Be brave Tif ~ It's time to PULL THE PLUG!

Elizabeth said...

both #4s are great! :>

Michelle said...

goodbye miss w machine..
enjoy your days in retirement...
knowing you served your family well...