i am writing to you with an apology. it would appear Our Shed and myself have been completely and utterly pants at getting prepared for your big day on friday. i fear we have let you down with our two year old, covered in green mold, union jack bunting i retrieved two days ago from around the veggie patch. to be fair i did give it a spin in Miss W. Machine but alas my high hopes were dashed when i retrieved a large knotty mess from her inners and still bearing the signs of green in places, from several winters hanging around outside.
after a few moments of 'knotted bunting' rage i admitted defeat and gave the responsibility of unraveling the mess to my man. in a trice he had it all sorted and with the aid of Our #4 i headed out to the front of Our Shed to hang our faded bedraggled bunting along the 'also greeny' white fence, so passersby would know where our loyalties lie. in my defence for only having this little offering to show for friday's big day, i must say 'wedding souvenirs' are in short supply in this neck of the woods and despite thinking it would be marvelous to handcraft a ton of union jack goodness to deck out Our Shed, i have been complete crappity crap in mustering up the energy.
however i have comforted myself with the knowledge Mossy Shed is not 'en route' for the wedding procession and therefore you will not have to see first hand my pants attempt at being patriotic. to make up for our lack of regalia i will be staying up late tonight to watch an hour long 'behind the scenes' special on all your wedding prep. this is a huge sign of my dedication as i know out of the hour, only 28 minutes will actually be about you and your special day, the other 32 minutes being commercials but i am quite sure it will be worth it. talking of commercials i did catch one the other day offering me a replica of your lovely ring, Kate. not having seen your ring in person, i was not sure how accurate it was. however the folks trying to get me to buy one were very excited about it so i can only assume it was spot on. indeed they were so confident i would want to pick up my phone right then and there to own it for only $29, i was told to hurry as stocks were limited and due to popular demand only one ring per household.
and lastly, before i leave you to get on with all those last minute pesky things which need to be done for the show to go on this friday. i have been toying with the idea of setting my alarm for 3am so i may watch your lovely wedding live, but alas the old person in me just cannot do such a thing. therefore i wished you to know, despite my lack of royal 'swags and tails' around Our Shed, and indeed the fact i will be watching you say your vows on a recording several hours after you spoke them, (whilst sitting in pyjamas eating leftover easter eggs) and also not sending for an exact replica of your pretty ring to show my admiration. i am in fact very happy to know you are tying the knot and wish you the happiest of happy lives together.
yours ever so sincerely
Tif Fussell (a Brit living abroad in a Mossy Shed)