Wednesday, June 3

me and 'the man'...

hurrah! i am back to feeling 'pretty' peachy at last... it's been a while and i must thank you first and foremost for your lovely 'get better' wishes.


it's been super duper hot here for the past few days and due to my 'medication' ("oh yes, we always thought she needed something") i have not been able to participate in 'sun loving'. i tell myself this is very good and that i am helping the 'fast appearing' signs of aging upon my little body to stay away a wee while longer, but quite honestly when everyone around me appears 'sunned and relaxed' and i appear, 'anaemic and gaunt' i get a little 'blah' about it...
and so dearest readers, i took a trip to the grocery store in the evening yesterday. forced into it by the cries of "the cupboards are bare" due to my inactivity on the home front and also forced by my need to find 'tanning lotion'... (i know, you don't even have to say it, after my horrors of several years back i had vowed not to go down that road again, but alas my look of 'an extra from a crypt keeper b-movie' has made me blot out my experiences of before and pretend it will go smoothly this time)

as soon as i entered the sliding doors at the store and looked at the shopping carts i started to feel uneasy "oh no, how many germs have multiplied on those handles today"...
as i started my stroll around, with fat ankles and throbbing head (due to temps over 90) i realized germs were not my only issue, every time i touched the handle it sent an electric shock up my arms. so i proceeded down aisle after aisle trying not to breath, touch my eyes that suddenly felt like they needed to be itched just 'cause they knew i wasn't allowed to itch them and doing an odd 'quick touch' thing with the handle of the cart, which to fellow shoppers might have been interpreted as 'here comes a nutter'...
after two bouts of flu, three colds and one round of bronchitis in six months, courtesy of Mr Lurgy, i have no intention of catching anything else, i am turning into a 'germiphobe'...

and then it happened somewhere between the eggs and the cheesy section, as i stooped down to pick out a large carton of yoghurt my defenses were down. i was trying to find a good long expiry date which caused me to neglect my bubble of 'don't come near me' germs.
and voila! as i turn to place my yoghurt in the cart, a man... ( i pause here to compose myself, as this point of 'telling the tale' is causing me distress)
a man who should not have been allowed in my aisle at the same time, passed me by and sneezed full force with no hand covering whatsoever, straight into my face, inches from me... then proceeded up the aisle chatting to 'his other half' like nothing had happened!
i am now in a state of 'distraughtness' hoping against the odds my little 'beaten up' immune system can fight the war that has now been declared upon it again... only time will tell.

in the meantime i must take the opportunity whilst still feeling 'perky' to slather 'fake tan lotion' upon myself.
i am hoping when i next look into the mirror i will resemble a sun kissed, carefree, slightly mysterious woman of a certain age and not as i fear, an orange, with cares of the world, slightly haggard woman of a very obvious age...

she will be back tomorrow with thrifty thursday and tales of 'pitter patters' of the utmost loveliest kind ~ Tif

4 comments:

Diane said...

I have visions of you wearing a hazmat suit on your next grocery outing. Glad you're feeling better.

lucky knitter said...

lol... I am not laughing at you, but with you (or maybe this something you will laugh at later) as this is something that would happen to me after taking all precautions, to just be in the wrong place at the wrong time!!!
Glad you are feeling better!

Michelle said...

tiff how horrid...
can't believe that lurgy man could do that!!!
carry a spray bottle of disinfectant and if they come close pretend to sneeze yourself and hit them with the spray full force...
on reflection this could get you "put away" and we could never have that...
so maybe just "look" like you are more contagious then them...that could do it...
can't wait for thrifty thursday...

HappySquirrel said...

You poor thing you. I hope you feel better soon. Honestly. Being ill sucks. : (