Friday, May 8

mothering sunday...


"why do you always get so melancholy this time of year?" asked our #2 the day after her 16th birthday... "we always have to listen to tales of when we were born and the silly things we did when little. i've heard it all before you know, the times i would leave the house and on returning you discovered my knickers were not on under my dress". (i must assure you this was when she was three).

and she speaks the truth, May rolls around and squeezed in between two of my children's birthdays is America's Mothering Sunday. and so i go into a state of reminiscing and recalling...and the beauty of what comes with the privilege of being a mother is the ability as years pass to only remember the sweet good moments and totally forget the 'crappity crap' times.
in the seventeen years of my mothering career i have had my share of 'crappity crap' moments and i do believe as they grow older and become teenagers it can be a 'thankless' career at times...
but every now and then they say something or do something that warms my heart so much that i just can't even begin to imagine a time when they will be out in the big wide world and my nest is empty...
so if you will indulge me (and perhaps ignore my mushy words) i would like to share a few things they do that makes me know i'm loved...these moments are from more recent years, not from the years of sitting on the sofa, 'let me cover you in kisses' years but the years of 'there's a world out there and i need more than just you, mum'...

our #1 is seventeen and this will give hope to any thrifting mum out there that has small children who will not go 'a thrifting' or if they do, 'minnie moans' the whole time.
a few weeks back she took an overnight trip across the mountains to the east side to visit a college...she left at the crack of dawn with bag in hand and $20 in her pocket for food. i did not expect to hear from her unless there was a problem. later that day at around 4pm the phone went and it was her...
"is everything okay, have you made it through the snow and mountains?" i enquire
"yes, yes... it's all fine mum, thing is i don't have long but i'm in a Goodwill and i'm standing here looking at a saucepan and it looks just like the type of thing you would buy, it's that greeny color you like with a wooden handle and mentions Japan on the bottom"
do i need to go any further, i think not... to know that my daughter has stopped at a thrift store is warming enough but that she actually went into the 'kitchen' department on my behalf just makes tears well up in my eyes...

in recent times our #2 has taken it upon herself to call up ocassionally on the way back from school and say "we are just passing (where ever it may be) and wondered if you had eaten lunch, if not can we pick you something up?" now for some this may not mean much, but for me it speaks volumes. it tells me, her and i have come through our dark tunnel together and are now standing in the sunlight, mother and daughter together and dare i voice it, "friends"...it's been a tough journey at times but one i am so glad i took...

our #3 is a quiet soul, he is happy with who he is and takes everything in his stride. some days he is so laid back i fear he may fall down but he's completely in control and i must let him be who he is.
thirteen is tough, i believe it is especially so for children these days and having to put up with two older sisters does not help him i am quite sure...
he has a smile like no other i have seen and when he smiles at me, the whole room lights up and it is at that moment that my heart flips and i feel a rush of love...

our #4 is about to turn 11. as a 'wee one' he was bouncing off the walls, i put this down to my pregnancy diet of Mars Bars and not much else. but as he has matured, the energy levels are still there but we are a little more focused in our day to day life. he always wants to try new things and it is never a dull moment living with him.
although several years old, one of my favorite pictures from my mothering career is of him and myself knitting,
it is the first picture i ever placed on my little blog...
i like his hair
i like the fact he wanted to learn to knit
i like my hair
i like the fact my slip is showing
but most of all, i love we are sharing a moment that did not involve anything but being together and crafting...

i thank you kindly for indulging me with my melancholiness and before i head out the door may i just tell you, on wednesday morning my man asked if i would care to go to the movies on sunday. alarm bells rang, we only go to the movies a couple of times a year. on closer questioning it would appear he thought i might like to spend mother's day watching the new Star Trek movie...words fail me.
i had hoped the panini episode had taught him a lesson but alas i see his memory is as bad as mine these days...

whether you are a mother or not, she is hoping you are treated like 'you are loved' on sunday ~ Tif

10 comments:

Francesca said...

tif, you know at this point i am weeping several times a day anyway, but that first story about no.1 calling you from a thrift store just set me off again. such a lovely story, they all are. you always make out your family just think of you as their potty mum, but clearly they adore and respect you much much more.

happy mothers day to you. x

Hear Me Roar! said...

This one made me cry a bit too, which is never a good thing when one is sitting in the middle of a glass walled office where employees and strangers can look right in on you. You've inspired me to dedicate a post to my own rugrats this weekend, something I probably would have neglected completely to do. Thank you Tif. And also, just so you can know I'm not completely forgotten... I spoke to hubby today and his answer after my question of "where are you" and "what are you doing there" was, "I'm buying Mother's Day cards for the Mothers." "Did you get me one?", I asked, not wanting to get my hope up unnecessarily. "Of course," he said... which is a wonderful thing to hear when you are the Mother of children who are not your new husband's, and he has a Mother and Mother-of-his-children of his own to think about.

Rubyred said...

Aahh Tif,lovely post,especially the story of no.1 and she only had $20 too! How thoughtful,the teenage years are hard to bear sometimes I wonder where my sweet babies have gone,then my 14 yr old asks 'would you like a cup of tea mum? and I know that sweetness is still there,he's just hiding it well!
Rachel x

Diane said...

Tif, What a lovely post! My children humor me one day a year, on their birthdays, to tell stories of their youth. I consider it high praise, indeed, if my 17 year old deigns to talk to me at all! But the other day when I naively asked about the double meaning of "tea bagging," he patiently explained it to me with no embarrassment on either of our parts. Your little giftie is on its way.

Not Perfect But Nice said...

You're so funny ! You need to laugh at least once a day you know ,so I really enjoy your blog!!

kat said...

that was lovely tif, thanks for sharing!

me said...

Amazing way you tell a story, tugging at all the heart strings and then you make us laugh through our drippy eyes. That knitting picture is so perfect - so absolutely perfect - how rare to have a photograph of such a perfect moment...lucky you!!! Thanks for your great stories, I look forward to seeing 'what's new' at the mossy shed! (enjoy your movie - perhaps you can knit in the theater!)

Lola Nova said...

Dear Tif, what a lovely post. All the stories are inspiring. Such beauties you have in your family. Indeed I have been encouraged, especially since I did get that couple of hours to go a-thrifting. (After a stunning hike on Sauvies Island with my dear ones)

The stores close by are mostly crap but, I did find some wicked cool mid-70's embroidery books, a Chambers Brothers record that I didn't already own, and a sweet vintage sheet that will be made into summer dresses for my girl.

Thank you for the inspiration and I hope you got to do something you really enjoyed today.

P.S.
The new chick chicks have arrived, (another Mom's day gift)! 3 of them - Fran, Irma and Tweet Tweet. Fran can yodel, it's quite amazing.

Elizabeth said...

All great stories. And fantastic picture. I have a moppet with hair like that and I love it. :) Happy Mother's Day!

Michelle said...

tif...
for the first time i am speechless...
and i know that's a good thing...