Wednesday, February 11

like a little child...

on christmas eve, that's what i'm feeling like today...

i have left the rolling green (and still white in some places) hills behind me and travelled a few hours along the line, past flooded fields to arrive on the doorstep of my friend Debbie.
we have big plans for the next few days, i hit the station platform running...before i knew it, i was dropping 'miss lola' at dance lessons, picking up others from the school gate and being whisked of to m&s where i have at last dealt with my 'underwear' crisis. 
now of course you will remember that my undies were a disgrace, the type that one hopes the outside world will never get a 'look at'...well before i left on my travels i rushed down to Target to buy myself a few new pairs just in case i needed to be seen by any medical staff on my trip. the problem was they didn't have my size and so i bought the next size up, this was a very unwise thing to do...on arrival back at mossy shed, i checked the sizing up against my gigantic, no elastic, graying cotton jobs to find my new ones were actually bigger...my choice for packing, the brand new ones that still retained their original coloring and elastic or my old 'grotty' ones. i went with the new and have discovered as long as i have jeans or tights on i am okay...but i knew it was of utmost importance that i find some others before spring arrives and i float around my back yard in a skirt and wellies only to promptly trip over when my 'undies' fall down (and that won't be pleasant for the neighbors, would it Trish!) 
and so my besty buddy of 29 years has taken me firmly in hand as she always does and made me buy new 'undies'...we knew it was important to find a pair that made me feel 'secure' and 'warm'....having found the perfect style we then had a big discussion about size, she told me that my 'arse' is not as big as i think it is and that is why i have issues when buying underwear and so i went with her better judgement because ever since we have been 11 she has always been the 'wise' one...and you know what? she was spot on, today as i tippity tap my words of great importance to you on her computer, i can tell you i feel, snug, secure, warm and in no way terrified my 'undies' are going to let me down today...

and that would lead me to tell you why today of all days is so important to have 'undies' on that you don't have to think about...today, dear readers i am off to meet a blogging buddy of several years and i am so excited...it turns out my lovely cyber pal lives only a few blocks away from where i am staying. so this morning i will be popping over to the lovely Janet Clare for 'elevenses' and i will be sure to fill you in on how it all goes, when i arrive back state side next week...

and as if that wasn't enough excitement for the week, tomorrow i pack up my wee bags again and this time head into London with Debbie on a 'pilgrim' of sorts...since we have known each other for more years than i care to remember we have had many an outing together,
but less so in our later years, what with 'youngsters' hanging off our aprons strings and many miles between us. 
however, we decided that turning 40 meant we needed to 'celebrate' this milestone with an 'outing' of sorts.

 
(forgive me as i dig into the archives of my brain and reminisce) one of our most memorable outings was as young teenagers we took the bus to the nearest town to do a bit of 'saturday' browsing. having spent all our money on chocolate (there's a surprise) we had no way of getting home other than to walk (interestingly now with the advancement of technology one would just get out a cell phone, but not in those prehistoric times...) and so we proceeded to head home the several miles to my village....(did i mention we were both wearing my mother's trendy stretchy striped jeans at the time). so Debbie proceeds to trip over half way home, on a bumpy bit of paving that the council had failed to fix...she also managed to trip at the exact place where a pile of 'dog crap' happened to be, she ripped a hole in the knee of one 'leg' and landed the other in the 'dog crap'. now i love my friend Debbie more than words can say but i must tell you she can be most 'stern' on occasion, i do not believe she was best pleased with this turn of events and started to become most distressed about the situation...i on the other hand found it one of the funniest sights i have ever seen (and still to this day believe it to be so) and promptly wet myself laughing...so we were a sorry sight walking the final miles, her stinking of 'crap' and me stinking of 'pee'...i do recall hanging my trousers on the radiator to dry and then placing them nicely back in my mother's closet (oh dearest mother, confessions are not always good, so please pretend you didn't read that last bit) and the other pair we disposed of in the garbage...("so that's where my trousers went" i hear my mother cry...) yes mother, after all these years, Debbie and i come clean...

so we head into London tomorrow with high hopes that she will not disgrace herself by tripping and landing in 'dog crap' and i have promised with hand on heart that i will not under any circumstances wet my pants...(which for someone of my age and having had 4 babies will, quite frankly, be nothing short of a small miracle..but you know how we believe in those dear readers)

she will see you on saturday with tales from the big smoke and apologizes if 'too much' info was revealed today ~ Tif 

10 comments:

Michelle said...

oh tif appart from crossing my legs as i laugh at your post...
i can understand where your coming from...after having 3 kids its impossible to go out and have something so utterly hysterical accuring as to not embarress myself totally that i do try to avoid all laughable activity...most of the time to no avail...well silly me, how can i when i read blogs...

retrorose said...

Oh my God, you are so funny. Can't talk about whether I managed to control my bladder with that story! That was one of those stories that just had me laughing all the way through. Priceless.
Now, can I have your help. I need your vintage retro head to help with some ideas, and any retro head friends too! Yellow shelf edging anyone, there is a giveaway on my blog but i am sneakily looking for inspiration out of it. Please help!

monda-loves said...

Tif, I LMAO at your story of holey trousers, dog poo and pee.
I hope you bought a stock of M&S knickers to take home with you - I'm a big fan of M&S underwear. Have a fab time in London :o)

Monda
x

Anonymous said...

Small world etc,etc, I live about two miles from Janet who I met a couple of years ago and got the link to your blog from her's.
Have a great trip !

Judith.

Hear Me Roar! said...

I can't stop laughing!

The Rose Room said...

Glad you are sorted underneath! Rachaelxo

~ Junkyard Jennifer said...

You, my friend, are the queen of story telling! That's great! Enjoy the rest of your trip.

~ Jennifer

me said...

you are a delight! Laughing out loud here, and Hannah had to come and check on me, then she is reading over my shoulder and laughing out loud too - No worries about dropping drawers in the neighborhood, as Gladys is a brilliant distration to anyone peeking in your back yard! Thanks for the best laugh of the day (perhaps of the week!!!) XXOO Trish

sophie philo said...

I left you a little award on my blog. I hope you are glad about it.

Francesca said...

sounds like fun tif. best friends are .. well, the best!
hope you had a lovely meeting with janet. it's actually pretty amazing how much you can get from people online and how they are exactly the same in the flesh.

word verification today: phoos. just thought i'd share that with you.