Thursday, December 6

the one about the six pesky gnomes and how they came to stay...

okay okay...you've got me, i admit that those little pesky gnomes made it on to my doorstep with a little help from me...
you see dear readers, having to be out of my carefully staged house for five hours (due to inspection being preformed) meant i was forced to hang around shops.


now usually this would not have been a chore in the least especially as i needed to get cracking with some christmas shopping but i am lacking one thing at the moment and have been since before Thanksgiving...the one thing that Mother Christmas can not be without this time of year...(no, not Johnny Depp, silly)...my credit card......................i paused a long while for you to recover, yes it is a horror story...the night before thanksgiving i am advised by those 'advisers' from the very important world of financing that someone is having a good time in Texas courtesy of me and my man.
not good, not good at all...and even more 'not good' i was informed it would take over ten business days to get a new card. well my little heart was thumping with the horror of it all, and more to the point i had planned to hit the Anthro sale the day after thanksgiving with my trusty credit card by my side...i let out a wail of despair and then i sat down with a bottle of my new found love to think it over.

after a while it seemed quite clear what i must do at this desperate time...i would raid my childrens piggy banks...our #1 was useless, she had spent all her money...our #2 wasn't any help either, hers is all safely tucked up in a bank account....our#4 was not even worth asking as money runs through his hands like water...so it was down to our #3, i knew he wouldn't fail me, he ferrets his money away and watches it grow under the mattress.

"i need any money you have and i need it now" (no time for politeness here)
"what for?" he asks
"the anthropologie sale"...
"ummm, (he knows his mother's weakness is the anthro sale tables) okay but it will cost you, i am thinking i will charge you five dollars...so you will have to pay me back the full amount plus another five"
"you're on"...

and so dear readers that is how Tif got her six red plates on the sale table the day after thanksgiving...which leads me to tell you that yesterday after days of checking on line, anthro at last dropped their prices on the red plates i required to make the number up to ten in my cupboard. "fantastic" i hear you cry...that is what one would think but it was not "fantastic" because i had no credit card to purchase them...as luck would have it, my man's card turned up two days ago. i phoned him at work in a panic, "quick quick, you must come home, anthro have discounted the plates...i must buy them now before someone else gets my lovely 'bargain' plates"...to which he replied "do we really need these plates" words fail me at times like these...

back to the gnomes...

i made it over to the store 'World Market' simply because they sell cadbury's chocolate bars and i was feeling the need for some light refreshment whilst crocheting 'popcorn garlands' in the car with my friend, used dog.
as i was paying for my chocolate bar, (carefully counting out my pennies) a little voice said "oi, over here" and it was little pesky gnome #1...before i knew it all six had jumped into my shopping cart and insisted on coming home with me.
"i'm not sure i can afford you, i only have six dollars on me and i really really need my chocolate"
"don't worry" he said "we are on sale" (oh magic words to my ears)

when we arrived home, they were not best pleased i made them stand out on the doormat and ring the bell so i could get a good story...part of their displeasure was to do with reaching the doorbell, even with standing on each others shoulders they informed me a long stick would be required...

when i awoke this morning there was some telling evidence in my house...


she's thinking they may be making more trouble in days to come ~ Tif

15 comments:

Gigibird said...

I love the idea of you and your dog going to the shops together....I'm assuming he stays in the car while you go off and shop?
My boy doesn't travel well - all over the place sounding like a chicken about to lay an egg.
I am glad you have found a tipple that doesn't leave you with a 'head'

Lindz (Yankee Girl Designs) said...

Okay...
1.)Don't even get me started on Anthro. Today I'm wearing this: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?.mid=embed&id=439320 and I'm loooooving the sweater dress, gotten a zillion compliments already :)
2.) I've printed out the pic of the gnomes and me and my co-workers are sitting here dissecting them and hoping to re-create something similar for a craft here @ work (we're Children's Librarians) they are the cutest, I wish I had a World Market around here.
3.) The "drunk gnome scene" is soooo my desktop now on my computer!

The Rose Room said...

Well I for one was not in the least bit surprised that 6 pesky gnomes appeared on your doorstep, I had you pegged as a girl who attracts such things, you see when I first came across you in bloglandia you were actually travelling the UK with a gnome. But yes, I can see that there maybe be trouble ahead, they obviously have a liking for 'the bottle' . . . but so pleased you got not 6 but 10 to die for red plates. Not so good about the credit card . . .

Jane said...

Now thats funny about your card and Texas cos when my card was cloned last year (on the Ile de Re)the happy party people living it up in Texas at my expense were buying country and western CDS and stuffing themselves in Tex-Mex restaurants. It is a good job that they were in the US as the $$$$$ signs on my statement alerted me to the fact that it wasn't just me running up the bills.
It was also easy to prove that I hadn't been in texas at the time.

~ Junkyard Jennifer said...

Oh, that is awful about the credit card. {And especially because of the whole sale thing. Of course.} But, really, that's awful!

I love World Market and like to fill the kid's stockings and Easter baskets with little found goodies. But the nearest one is 3 hours away! - I probably won't be making it to one this year.

Kristy said...

I'm credit card less too.Hubby had a strop with the bank and cancelled them!I have a new one and I can shop online but have no pin number to hit the shops!Ahhh how long is Christmas away and how my nephews and nieces do I have? (20+!!!!)
You said those gnomes were from Norway but going off the vodka I would hazard a guess they were Polish!

Lisa said...

I'm sure you won't mind if they steal a tipple, but, if it were me, I would flick them on their little red hats if they touch the chocolate!

When we lived in Singapore, someone in Colorado stole DH's credit card number and bought tickets to Hawaii... and had them hand delivered to their house! I believe they were arrested at the airport.

Two Crofters said...

i warned you.......
tracy x

hazeljoy said...

oh, tif you are ace. and if you want some cadburys chocolate sending over let me know (it's the least you deserve for suffering gnomes in your home) xx
hazeljoy.typepad.com

E said...

oooh 'eck - has Miss Ruby been wielding her bottle opener? I should watch out - 6 legless gnomes and tipsy rabbit ... lock up your bargain plates!

Tracey said...

Interesting. I watched a woman on TV today who literally chased down her identity thief whilst on the phone with 911. I live in Texas should you want help with such an endeavor. :p I'm now wondering whether I should drive all the way to the nearest World Market for gnomes...

Monica said...

I live in Texas, but believe me, I have not stolen credit cards...just my husband's sometimes!

Anonymous said...

Your post gave me a chuckle.
I'll have to hit the WM tomorrow.
Gotta get me some gnomes!

~elaine~

Di said...

I love it!! They are pesky gnomes!! Hope that the Christmas spirit (i.e. credit card) turns up soon!!

Cowboys & Custard said...

My son has been buying and selling Mars bars at school to save up some money and the little darling wannabe Rockerfeller charged me 50 pence for one of his precious chocolate bars! You have to admire their cheek and enterprise!
Love those little micccciees in their stockings!
Michelex
P.s Hope the inspection went well! How couldn't it.. your house looks immaculate!