i think my man is ready to pack his bags and leave.
i am not a nice person to live with at the moment. i put it down to many things, a list i could write as long as my arm but none of the things on my list excuse being a 'bah humbug' and taking it out on him.
i am hopeful he will stick around a tad while longer and ride the storm out...
i did not intend to wake up this morning and do what i did, but a chance conversation with my adopted auntie yesterday afternoon led to me pulling up my knee socks this morning and rustling around the kitchen drawer for my book writing cap. i must confess when i found it, it was rather dusty, a little moth eaten and most definitely wrinkly.
i then spent quite a few moments unearthing scribbled notes from months and months ago, once again, telling myself off for not being better organized and having a terribly pants habit of writing in the middle of odd notebooks found lying around the place and then moving onto another random notebook found elsewhere.
i am wondering if i need to go on an organizational camp, i expect such a thing exists.
and so i sat down at Colin the Computer this morn at precisely 8:09am after my morning walk with my little black cloud and tippity tapped away... the outline of a book i have been carrying inside of me for a year came outside into the fresh air to breath.
i know this book needs to be written, however i do not know whether i have the courage to go through the whole process again. letting it go out into the world for others to take hold of and add their vision to. to let them do so is tres tricky for me. i tell myself this time i am older, i am wiser and i am stronger than before, i tell myself many things to keep Mr Doubter from my door...
but the thing i tell myself most is, i love the working title i have.
it alone makes me want to write another book.
'clever crafting for small beings, little critters and other folks'
and i love what i see inside my head, of what this book could become, now i have dared to peek inside.
i have no idea whether i will be allowed to keep such a title when the time comes, nor if my booky vision will ever see the light of day beyond our Mossy Shed's four walls. however for now it is my jumping off point into a place i ran away from not so long ago. a place i now find myself running back to, with my heart beating a little faster, and noting a little black cloud slowly but surely being left behind...