it's the silly things...

yesterday i was greatly inspired at dinner time by the latest fabric love in my life,

found as a 'pair of curtains' in a wonderful retro granny chic store in Rye, (Kent) England.

the store was called 'new 2 you retro' and the inside, filled to the rafters with vintage and retro goodness.

everything reminded me of grannies in the most perfectly perfect way,

indeed Debbie, my soul sister and i would have quite happily moved in

i have just had to pause from my tale and switch the radio off,

i am listening as always to Radio 2,

at the moment it is a long programme about the history of the Bee Gees

and i cannot for the life of me tippity tap when i have 'Jive Talking' going on at full blast....

the funny thing about listening to Radio 2 Live is i am 8 hours behind,

so quite often i am listening to the night time shows or early morning programmes.

i know what the weather forecast will be for the majority,

i know who has got up to what in the news

and most importantly of all,

i know which roads to avoid due to roadworks and traffic hold ups.

all of which, some may think, are completely useless for moi living on this side of the pond...

however in a nice warm fuzzy way it keeps me connected to my home country, my family

and of course, now Our #1

which is where i was going with the old curtain story before the Bee Gees interrupted...

so my lovely 'faded around the edge' curtains came back on the plane with me

and after a few happy hours spent with Miss Ethel

(all in the name of sanity i might add, notching up 8 weeks or more of school holidays, one does need to find the odd bit of sanity that still remains)

i had myself two rather lovely 'going into fall' retro cushions for the lounge.

under the influence of my cushions i turned my crafty attention from Miss Ethel,

towards the kitchen and dinner.

i worked carefully with my usual palette of orange but added a little extra with brown and yellow,

thus showing my newly made cushions how much i loved their retro peachiness.

after a short while of pottering around

doing just fine and dandy,

the gravy was the brown,

the leftover turkey meat, a shade of something similar in tone,

and then the yorkshire puds adding a lovely sandy yellow to the mix.

i started on the orange ingredient

and that is where i came undone...

until that moment i had tucked my little bit of sadness away deep inside,

feeling most proud of my stiff upper lip and 'carrying on' resolve

but the blimen' carrots had to go and weaken my emotional brick wall,

and despite trying my terribly best,

the flood waters came rushing through for the first time since Our #1 left the shed behind

and headed off to the bright lights of old blighty to live.

how could a humble silly little carrot cause such distress i am thinking you are wondering,

it's a silly thing really, but it always is the silly things.

Our #1 eats carrots every day,

any given day i would find her in the kitchen peeling and chomping on raw carrots,

other days she would happily make a whole mountain of grated carrots to bake a carrot cake for tea.

and without fail,

whenever i made turkey in gravy she always chopped the carrots into lovely chunks to pop in the pot,

always with a tale to tell

and always with a smile on her face...

yesterday whilst chopping the carrots into chunks

i noted there was not a tale being told to me,

nor a smiling face looking back at me,

just an empty space

and the sound of my own sadness.

today as i tippity tap about my carrot moment

i am wondering, if a carrot can set off such a tidal wave of tears,

then how on earth will i be able to go thrifting again,

knowing my thrifty buddy is no longer by my side.

she is thinking carrots maybe off the menu for a while at mossy shed ~ Tif

i am a little lost...

despite the woes of Carlos i did indeed take a few snaps of old blighty with a borrowed camera,

however i am going to save it all for next week.

for next week is when my clan returns to school and the shed takes on hushed tones again.

in turn, giving me more time to gather my thoughts and tell you my tales...

in the meantime i have located the 'big camera' my man bought several years back,

claiming it was a marvelous camera with the ability to capture the world around us with ease.

i was sceptical at the time and after today, i continue to remain so...

perhaps not the fault of the camera, more to do with my inability to embrace new things.

i wish i was better in that respect but alas i appear as every year goes by, to become more crappity crap at it.

after five minutes of struggling with the beast of a camera,

i came to the conclusion, a strap around my neck was required.

upon fixing the strap on, it became clear not only were my arm muscles lacking

but so were my neck muscles.

i then discovered if i combined the strength of my neck and arms together,

i was able to lift the camera high enough to see through the lens.

this little fiasco took up about twenty minutes

by now my heart was quickening,

and i longed for Carlos of the old days to return to me.

i told myself to recall my breathing exercises from child birth

so i may remain calm,

giving the 'beast camera' a chance to show me his skills.

to be fair to the camera,

i do believe he has great potential to achieve shots way superior to Carlos.

if i took the time to locate the manual from it's hiding place,

spent further time reading what it has to say,

and start a strict daily regime of lifting weights

i think we may start to get along.

but i don't think that will ever happen,

i am still grieving for Carlos and his perfect little weighted ways

his ability to record a moment

without strap around neck and a weight lifting programme in place.

proceeding around the shed i took snap shot after shot.

i do believe by shot 12 i had broken a sweat

and the struggle to avoid tripping over things in my path was becoming more and more tres tricky.

'beast camera' was blocking most of my view as i pottered around

and for a pesky doggie such as little olive,

this could only spell danger.

after taking twenty four pictures i needed a lie down,

upon recovery i discovered only three shots worth keeping.

i think them quite acceptable,

but for me they lack a certain je ne sais quoi

that Carlos brought to the frame...

so for now i shall continue taking photos with Carlos.

when he is having a good day we will make magic together

and on his bad days i will not get frustrated or bad tempered but accept him as he is.

until i am ready that is,

to make the big step of finding a light weight replacement

so he may rest in peace, knowing he was my first camera love

and therefore always hold a special place in my heart

she is thanking you most kindly for your 'welcome homes' and the kindness you have shown toward Carlos and his demise ~ Tif

home again, jiggy jig...

i am not quite sure why i did not read the signs, perhaps if i had i would have seen it coming... now i think back, before we left he felt a little off color, wasn't quite up to his usual tasks. i blamed my man, accused him outright of fiddling with bits he should not have been fiddling with. my man denied all knowledge of what i was referring to, i saw his firm protest of denial as guilt.

i harbored resentment in his direction, hoping my vibes would break him and a confession would be forth coming. my man stayed strong so i left for england with no explanation as to why Carlos, my trusty camera was seeing the world through blurry eyes.

after a few days in old blighty, i began to suspect Carlos of perhaps partaking in his favorite tipple more than is acceptable for a camera of his age. the shakes and the blurriness all pointing toward his decline, i began to fret, thinking of all the demands i had made upon his little gadgety soul, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year.

alas the strain was beginning to show... if i had only taken time to listen, to not berate him for his blurry vision and the frustration it caused me. if perhaps i had not ranted a torrid of unkind names in his direction from the end of june until the fateful day in july it would indeed have been a different story.

but i did not, i was a fool to myself, and that foolishness cost me 'my Carlos'.

it was an ordinary day on our trip back home to a small island, the sun was shining. i am now thinking that perhaps it wasn't such an ordinary day for this day was in england and the sun was shining. so therefore i must correct that bit and say, it was an extraordinary day in an ordinary way when we arose, nothing out of the ordinary unless we count the large amount of sunshine, thus making is extraordinary. nothing that would suspect me to sense this was the day Carlos, sweet dear 'oh i do so need you' Carlos was going to have his breakdown.

one minute he was compos mentis, then next he was 'non'. no amount of apologizes, sweet talking or recharged batteries was going to get him to see straight... for one small moment he appeared to be responding, in that moment he found the words to tell me how he wished to take a little time away from me, to think things through, he wasn't sure the life i had offered him a few years back when he arrived as a 'mailorder camera', was in fact the life for him. with that he shut down, remaining unreachable for the rest of our trip.

i placed him in his padded pouch with little pink deer on and kept my fingers crossed he would come back to his senses and return to me fully in charge of his gadgety bits.

meanwhile i perused the two shots we had taken together before his meltdown.

dallying with Mr Hook on Branscombe beach in Devon

and my derriere as i bravely climbed a whole foot and a half off the ground

on returning to the shed it would appear Carlos is feeling a little more perky, he told me that the rest has done him good and he is perhaps willing to come back to work with better pay and kinder hours.

however having spent a few minutes with him yesterday it would appear he may think himself better but the results i have seen are telling me otherwise...

i fear Carlos, my trusty camera, is indeed losing his marbles, has seen much better days and although it grieves me to say it, (indeed i say it in a whisper so as not to reach his sensitive little ears,) it is perhaps only a matter of time before the pearly gates open up above, revealing the great Las Vegas in the sky for broken down cameras and he starts climbing the stairway.

she is thinking how lovely it is to be back and how greatly she missed you all ~ Tif