feeling a little damp...

last week, me and my clan packed up our bags and headed over the border.

i do like saying that,

it always sounds so exotic saying one is 'heading over the border' to foreign parts.

of course the truth of the matter is,

it is never exotic piling into a mini van with three teenagers and a preteen for any length of time over 15 minutes.

but i was tres excited,

for it has been two years since all of us have gone away together

and so i was armed with my special 'i'm not listening to you' fading out device (called daydreaming),

one large packet of sun chips

my new, second hand raincoat

and

i was more than ready for a road trip.

for indeed what could be more exciting then heading to Vancouver in Canada.

it is one of my favorite cities to visit and we haven't been there in many a year.

now of course i actually probably have only ever visited less than 10 cities in the whole of this world so i'm not really one to judge or compare them.

but i do like Vancouver and my clan like it even more.

for Vancouver is where they sell Shreddies cereal.

on returning home from our excursion i had visions of border control opening up the trunk of the 'big green turd'

(as our 10 year old, rather smelly, mini van is affectionately known)

upon which the border control man would say

"what do we have here then, trafficking Shreddies are we?"

but it's not about the Shreddies today dearest readers,

no sirree, it's about my new second hand raincoat...

i have lived in the northwest of the US for nearly ten years and until three weeks ago did not own a rain coat of my own.

i am thinking that is quite a feat.

however, i found one recently on ebay,

a used NOA NOA one that had my name on it.

it would appear that it had other peoples names on it too.

so in the last few seconds of bidding time,

i put in my top bid, shaking and a sweating.

after what seemed an eternity,

the sweating and a shaking paid off...

then i waited for its arrival,

upon which i noted it was not a dull tealy gray as the dim slightly iffy ebay picture suggested to me,

but instead a rather light pretty pale blue with mini polkadots.

you know the kind of color an eight year old would like to wear.

i told myself

"do not fret Tif, for when it is raining you will be dry and happy, thus balancing out the worries of wearing an eight year old's rain coat"

and so i packed my lovely raincoat for our road trip,

for i knew the weather man had said "rain"

and i knew i would be laughing whilst my clan would be wet.

the first day and it rained.

i chuckled knowing a little bit of rain wouldn't harm me.

i donned my rain coat, took the elevator 29 floors down to the ground and headed out,

rustling as i walked...

after a few minutes,

"that's strange" i thought to myself,

a feeling of dampness beginning to sink in.

upon perusal of the interior of my raincoat

it would appear i had water seeping in,

yes as far as i could tell

water was positively loving my raincoat...

on very close inspection i noted one rain drop having the audacity to quite clearly run down the inside.

i turned to my man and told him just how disappointed i was in my little raincoat.

how i could deal with feeling a little bit twitty in it and rustling where ever i go, if it actually worked

and then i made the mistake of mentioning just how much it cost in my moment of disappointment...

after the moment of confession had past,

my man had regained his composure

he told me not to fret,

that indeed he too would feel most disappointed if he had a raincoat that failed him so.

he assured me upon returning to Mossy Shed he would have a rummage in the garage to find some waterproofing spray so my raincoat and myself may live happily ever after together.

for as i remarked to my girls on the day my raincoat arrived in our Mossy Shed mailbox,

"girls, i intend to be wearing this raincoat in twenty years time, it is the sort of raincoat a granny who is a little bit mad would wear"

she is spring cleaning, which evolves a lot of shuffling and of course pondering a certain wall ~ Tif

footynote: here's a bigger picture of the raincoat, thus avoiding you having to rattle around the kitchen drawer to find your bi-focals to see the one above :)

a love letter...

dearest wallpaper,

i can still remember the first day we met across a crowded room.

i was loitering in the doorway waiting to enter,

you were hanging around near the back of the room.

i was madly, intensely attracted to you,

everything else in between us faded away.

by the time i reached your side i was smitten

i stood in awe of your beauty,

i reached out to touch you,

noting your smoothness upon my finger tips

and your 'oh so perfect' tealy blossoms.

i could only take my eyes off you for a moment,

turning to my mother so i may exclaim i was passionately in love.

that moment was over four years ago,

it was to be another year of 'lusting from afar' before i could have you for myself.

but still i had to keep you 'under wraps' in the corner of a room,

for my home at the time was not the place for you and your peachiness...

several months later and we moved to Mossy Shed,

me, my clan and you.

the day after moving in,

you were at last given your moment to shine on one small wall.

and oh did you shine,

in all your glory,

day after day,

furniture shuffle after furniture shuffle,

our love affair grew stronger and stronger.

we felt it would never end,

our love knew no bounds...

until one fateful morning we awoke,

you downstairs,

me upstairs,

and something felt different.

upon greeting you that morning

you felt tired,

i asked if perhaps we could try something new,

inject a bit of excitement into our lives together.

but alas after several months of 'trying',

we knew it was not to be.

and so it would appear,

my very dearest wallpaper,

we have lusted

and

we have loved

like no other,

but now we must part...

and like all good love affairs when they come to an end

we will be strong

and

we will do it with dignity,

going our separate ways

with no mention of 'new loves' to hurt each other.

and if there is one thing i know to be quite true,

a little piece of me will always love you

for you truly made me smile on days when i was low

and who knows perhaps one day in the future

a day when i reside in a dwelling over looking the sea

with a few rundown trailers in the yard,

you will come back to me,

'perfect and peachy'

as the day we first met...

yours truly,

Tif x

easter...

i thought to myself, how lovely would it be to start the week with a 'little quiz',

dusting down our little cogs and taking our minds off the knowledge that

yes indeed a lovely large pile of chocolate can disappear that quickly

and

yes indeed we can focus upon something else and not the fact our buttons are a little 'samuel whiskers' today...

1: what did the easter bunny say as he handed Tif a packet of DARK chocolate mini eggs on easter sunday morning?

a) "i know just how much you love DARK chocolate Tif and i hopped out of my way to find these for you"

b) "i remember you saying Tif, just how much you really wanted a packet of DARK chocolate mini eggs for easter and nothing else would do"

c) "i know you don't eat DARK chocolate, infact you actually have never liked DARK chocolate, but i thought it might be nice to have a change, don't you agree Tif?"

2: when Tif arrived back at Mossy Shed after a five day excursion across the border, did she...

a) immediately unpack her clans bags, sort laundry and vacuum

b) do all of 'a' and also cook a fabulous meal for the hungry hordes

c) toss the bags on the floor, mutter to her clan there were dubious leftovers in the fridge. then set about being reacquainted with Miss Ethel, fashioning a 'happy egg' tree, not actually for her children but for some forsaken little deer that had come her way.

3: how many attempts did it take before Tif had edible easter nests on easter morning?

a) just one attempt, huge success, her clan gathered around to marvel at what lay before them on the kitchen island, exclaiming Nigella would indeed be most envious of their 'nesty perfection'.

b) five attempts, resulting in Tif weeping into her pocket full of kleenex which are always conveniently in her apron pocket and exclaiming "never again"

c) two attempts, the first resulting in a 'brick like' lump that could cause quite the injury if thrown with force, the second resulting in edible but not 'perfectly perfect' looking easter nests. Tif knew Nigella would not look upon her easter nests with a glance of envy, but by this time Tif really didn't give a damn

4: does the easter bunny move in mysterious ways for Tif?

a) no he does not, he hops around like every other bunny

b) no he does not, he messes up just like every other bunny, bringing DARK chocolate to a MILK chocolate loving friend

c) yes he does, he may appear to mess up but this is all part of his 'bigger bunny plan'...

for the easter bunny knew on easter sunday Tif would happen to glance at craigslist whilst praying the 'cooking ham' in the oven was supposed to smell like that. upon perusal of the vintage chair section the easter bunny knew Tif would come across a chair that got her pulse a racing, at a 'bobby bargain' price. the easter bunny knew Tif would relay this terribly thrilling find to the easter bunny who was still hopping around the yard at 4:30pm, this time not with a basket but with a power washer, giving Gladys a well deserved 'scrub'.

the easter bunny knew he would sigh, as he owed Tif for the terrible 'faux pas' of DARK chocolate and several hours later, the little 'bobby bargain' chair would be living at Mossy Shed. an edible ham meal would be on the table and Tif would be most happy indeed. yes all part of the easter bunny's 'bigger moving in mysterious ways' plan.

5) how many differences can you spot between the two pictures below?

("ooooh Tif! we do love a 'spot the difference' question"

"me too! dearest readers")

a) there are no differences Tif, it all looks the same to me

b) quite a few differences i am thinking around six

c) i can't possibly concerntrate on counting the differences when i have fainted from the shock of orla's goodness being removed from your walls Tif

and that is it...

if you answered mainly c's then you are most deserving of a gold sticky star,

that once again i give to you

and

once again you are most welcome to stick it where you wish.

if you did not answer mainly c's

do not fret,

let us blame it upon the chocolate of easter sunday

and you too may have a gold sticky star to cheer your day.

for quite honestly anyone that has bothered to stop by and read all of the above when they could instead be spending quality time with their chocolate is most deserving of a 'gold sticky' star in my books...

she is hoping you had a 'hippity hoppity' easter and that indeed the easter bunny moved in mysterious ways for you too ~ Tif