the day before olive comes to stay...

i have seen my future...

("what crazy talk is this Tif, has the heat finally fried your last ounce of sanity?" i hear you gasp)

this is no crazy talk dear readers, no sirree... it's the truth, however deranged i appear to be looking in my 'slick stuck to my head' suzi quatro hairstyle and old cotton slip, going 'as is' underneath and having a 'hand fan' as my best friend...

in the past few days i have had a taste of my menopausal future and i don't care for it one bit.

i've accepted my sagging bottom,

come to terms with my pesky gray roots

and convinced myself the crows feet around my eyes are laughter lines...

(actually that is all a pack of 'fibs', but for the sake of me adding drama to my ramblings i must 'bend the truth' at this point, i knew you would understand. but not, i must add at the 'menopausal point' above... no, that is the truth. cross my heart...)

as the outside temps reach over a 100 and inside the shed is close behind with a 'faint' inducing 90+... i have now been given a taste of the 'could fry an egg on my back at night' situation that presents it's self in menopause...

and so today, as 'they' claim it will be even hotter...

i fear for used dog living with a coat of 'black and fur', trying to stay warm with her 'super hero wet cloak' towel and a bulldog clip,

i fear for my feathered friends who are beginning to have an insight to their cousins lives, the rotisserie chickens,

i fear for 'noodle and doodle' the two mieces, in their glass walled home of 'stink' in our #4's room.

but most of all, even more than fearing for my menopausal future,

i fear for my children having to ride out the heatwave with a mother perspiring like she's never perspired before and making sure everyone in the vicinity of the shed, shares her suffering...

she is off tomorrow, travelling north to bring little olive 'home'... and hoping the air conditioning in the car remembers it's supposed to be working ~ Tif

footynote: just a quick 'thanking you kindly'... i truly appreciate your lovely words of support for my 'exhibit moment' of late. it has warmed my heart... actually my heart was already warm due to extreme heat conditions and really didn't require anymore warming but i think you get the gist of what i mean :)

feels like heaven...

it has been nearly a month dear readers since our paths have crossed, in that time i have done christmas, two birthdays (hard to see your first born turn sixteen), and had my lovely parents to stay.

we then packed up and moved our belongings and pets, with the help of friends, passing strangers, a nearby mule and cart, (okay that last one wasn't technically the truth but it sounded good) and a 'U-Haul' van to Mossy Shed...since then i have been distracted from 'day to day' life by one thing and one thing only...

i am in love...

yes it is true to say i have started a love affair with my lovely mock tudor number...i see nothing but good things everywhere i turn. every morning i wake up (twelve mornings to be precise) and i say to my man "i can't quite believe i am actually living here" to which he replies under the depth of the duvet and several blankets (our bedroom is not the warmest place to be) "neither can i, neither can i"

so in a space of hours, ney make that minutes, of claiming mossy shed for ourselves, i set about 'nesting'...and in between feathering our little nest, used dog and i have been rambling along the roadside, her in her collar, me in my pink knitted hat (disguising wild unkempt hair) and 'old bag lady' coat...

so that brings us up todate...i have also made a big long list of priorities for mossy, but strangely the room that is being worked on first is my little studio space..."well fancy that" i hear you say...i shall post a few pics soon (by soon i mean when i have located the relevant cord for transporting my pics from camera to computer) then you can see the new headquarters of dottie angel.

in the meantime i must tell you, we only suffered one casualty in the move...deep breaths, dear readers...i must report that Miss Josphina Lola (my beautiful door) suffered a rather nasty gashy wound to her top front half. as i lent her against the garage wall to mourn the moment of discovery (remember her beautiful granny knicker color and that 'nobody loves you like i do' moment way back when i first set eyes on her)

my man says "don't be silly Tif, it's only a chip"...

"a chip," says i "only a chip...do you realize how fantastically fantastic Miss Josphina Lola's paint color is, i do not believe you have ever stopped to think about it before"

"nope, that is very true, i do not recall ever taking time to think about the color of that old door"

gasp..."i think i need to be by myself"...

she's wishing you all a belated happy new year ~ Tif

glad tidings of joy...

well the count down to christmas is really on, i have had 'three' sightings of santa, first the one when i was carrying my wood pile...the second whilst waiting at Safeway's deli for some cheese...

"look" i said to our #1 "not three yards from you is santa"

"that's not santa that's just an old man with a long white beard, who probably hates this time of year 'cause people like you point and whisper" she replied

"no, no, that is santa, he is just wearing his 'day off' clothes and collecting his deli chinese meal for dinner. it's all about believing"...

"i don't believe" (gasp!) it took me a while to recover, i had trouble looking her in the eye because she is heading to 5ft 10 inches, so i tippy toed and said

"i shall pretend that i never heard that"

a festive monster from our #4 (with a little help from Miss Ethel)

the third time was this saturday just gone, i was busy struggling with a queen size mattress and our van in the parking lot when he wandered by...

"morning santa" said i from under the mattress

"ummm, yeah, hi"

what was that, is that how santa would talk to you, i think not...lucky for him i was doing my balancing act. i have now come to the conclusion 'this santa' that always seems to be hanging around our local parking lot is not the 'real mccoy'...he must be an impostor...how else can i explain the 'ummm, yeah, hi' bit.

surely santa still goes "ho ho ho"...even if he ends it with a "dude"...

and so dear readers i have some fan-tab-u-lous news...it has been one hundred and forty days since we first stepped inside the yellow house and started to dream about moving.

the ups and the downs have taken their toll...i have doubled my gray hair count, added at least four new frown lines to my forehead and am requiring some serious under eye cream these days...but i am letting you know we are 'sold' and we will be moving to mossy shed (hurrah)...you can uncross your weary fingers and toes for the holidays (i thank you kindly for doing that)...at the moment i am surrounded by packing boxes as we have decided it would be a very wonderful exciting thing to pack and move most of our belongings, four children and several pets (accept heavy furniture because i'm a weakling) by ourselves...yes it is true to say we are going to go nuts...

in seventeen days (yes, seventeen...you heard me right) we will be living in our 'mock tudor' number amongst total chaos, me with my 'rose colored' spectacles and my man with his "where's it all going to go" "there's no attic space" "the ceilings are very low" "i think i need a shed" 'man blinkers' on...

so i wish you all a very merry time, what ever your celebrations this december...and i will return some time around the 14th January 2008 typing at my little blue desk, in the corner by the lovely fireplace at mossy shed...

she's wishing you a Happy New Year ~ Tif

the one about Mossy Shed...

i have been to see the gray house today, or as our #2 fondly refers to it, 'the shed' (remember she is fourteen so therefore has been possessed)...it has been over three weeks since i have been there and it felt good to have a look around and confirm all my thoughts of "this could go there" and "wouldn't that be a great wall for vintage wallpaper".

this morning eating breakfast with our #3 and #4, we were discussing 'the shed' and the fact that it may look like it is a field of grass out the back but actually it is mainly moss. and so our #4 decided that we should name the house 'Mossy Shed'...and after he had decided that he also decided that we would paint a sign "just like mabear has on her house" (mabear is my mum, just in case you were wondering). so that is settled i feel, if and when we ever do get to live in the gray house it will be named Mossy Shed.

the thing i like about the neighborhood around Mossy Shed is the eclecticness (is there such a word) of the place...it is a whole mix of different houses and families, i really do think we will feel far more at home there than we do here. after all we will be allowed to keep chickens and have an airstream parked out front, and we all know where i am living now that is a big "NO NO"...

the first time we found Mossy Shed we toured the neighborhood to get a feel of the place and i knew we would feel right at home when our #4 exclaimed as he looked out the window "look, do you see that, well i have never seen anything like it in all my born days (i just love it when they come out with phases like that) it's a car completely covered in ivy" and then he turned to me and asked "do you think they will let me play in it if i live near by?"

so we must continue to keep our fingers and toes crossed that a buyer for our house will soon turn up on the doorstep and that at some point in the future i can make Mossy Shed our home...in the meantime i have plans to have the shop open again next week, just for a little while, as we sit and wait for 'our buyer'...

she's fallen in love with 'Miss Ethel' ~ Tif

the one about 'the theory'...

so my theory was tested and i have to tell you my rebellion yesterday did not cause a realtor to call...no it caused the realtor to call first thing this morning, on a day when the kids have a 'no school day', when we are lazing around in our pyjamas, with the remains of last night's school harvest party surrounding us, beds unmade, laundry in piles ready to wash etc...you get the picture don't you, basically a typical morning in most households that contain kids and pets.

i had not achieved breakfast or worse still, drunk my morning tea and so there was nothing to do about it except pull out all the stops and run the show like a military operation..

"our #1, you can vacuum upstairs, downstairs and in between"

"okay" she replies

"our #2..."
"sorry no can do, i have to take a shower" (she's fourteen, enough said)

"our #3, grab the tub of Method wipes and get to work on all the sinks, remove all 'spat out, dried up' toothpaste...plus get those toilets clean"

"okay" he replies whilst donning my pink washing up gloves

"our #4, you get the duster and start dusting every surface that you can find"

"yipee" he says "my favorite job"

after ten minutes of some serious 'buckling down' to the tasks in hand the phone rings, it's a friend for our #4. i hear him say "i'll be out in a minute i just have to finish dusting"

enough to warm any woman's heart i feel...and i wished right there and then for my boys to always be man enough to say in life "i just have to finish dusting" and possibly whilst wearing pink washing up gloves...

wishing you lovely thoughts for the weekend ~ Tif

janet clare ~ part one...

yep that's right dear readers, the lovely janet clare is a two parter because i just can't fit in everything i need to say in one post...

so let's just jump right in...last week janet asked me if i would like to do a swap...it was a perfect day to ask me, it cheered me up no end. i was feeling as 'dull as dishwater' and her mail came at just the right time...so i packaged up and sent my 'swap' along with a few other goodies and then sat and waited for the mail man...

i have to tell you it really is like being a kid again, getting all excited knowing something lovely is coming your way but you don't know what...well i didn't have to wait long as janet did her 'thing' that she does so well and sent it on its way...

and now i am the proud owner of a portrait of myself, my stripey tights and used dog...all stitched on to a lovely piece of blanket...i can not wait to put it up on the wall in our new place. i showed it off to all members of the family and also used dog, who seemed to be most impressed.

janet also sent me one of her beautiful knitted face cloths that i have been admiring from a far...and that leads me to part two...

but you'll have to wait for that until tomorrow as i have to vacate the house because we have a viewing...yipee! now let's not get our hopes up but we must think positive thoughts here...i have checked all bathrooms are clear of dodgy smells and i have also caved in and bought a bedspread for my bed.

i know it sounds odd but i am going to have to hide away my 'britishness in the bedroom' and cover up my bedlinens. i stood in 'bed,bath and beyond' with my 20% coupon in my little 'paw' looking up and down the aisles desperately trying to find a "grown up" bedspread that i liked enough to spend money on and that was neutral enough for viewing purposes...isn't that the most ridiculous thing you will ever read, but you read it right...i am buying a bed cover to sell my home. the person that buys my house will not buy my bed cover and yet my bed cover may very well be the thing that makes them want to buy my house...

she is feeling a little light headed over the nuttiness of it all ~ Tif

try as i might...

i have been trying really hard for a while to be chipper and making an effort to think positively each morning, but unfortunately i can't shake the feeling of despair.

we have been through the inspection and out the other side on the 'mock tudor number' and now all we need to do is sell our place and we are home and dry...

but alas the 'buyers' are thin on the ground, my telephone is not ringing off the hook and after twelve days on the market i am feeling down hearted. i know it isn't very long in the current state of 'house selling' but i just can't shake my mood...yesterday as i was ferrying our #2 to dance the evening was drawing in and real autumnal weather is here, i told myself that if all i have to be down hearted about is trying to sell my home then i am a lucky person. but of course it didn't work...

i think the problem is i had thought we would be in a new place by Christmas. i was busy picturing where to put the tree not to mention the vintage style wallpaper i have found, just perfect for the kitchen nook...and then there is the perfect mid century modern round table just waiting at hivemodern to complete the look

still i need to try and get a more positive attitude, after all we did get one call from a realtor last week wishing to bring some clients by. so i did a quick once around the house, bundled the kids into the car and holed up in Starbucks for an hour...only to arrive home and find she hadn't been. ten minutes later (this gets very visual i'm afraid) i have two of my brood locked in the toilets doing their thing when the front door is unlocked and someone calls "is anyone home"..."shit" i whisper (never a truer word spoken) to our #1..."quick, find some smelly stuff and spray it in the bathrooms"...

as we frantically tried to mask the smell coming from the toilets the prospective buyers were climbing the stairs...it is safe to say that by the time they got to the top step my house smelled a delightful combination of sewage and a brothel thanks to our #1's most overpowering cheap perfume lingering with the aftermath in the toilets...

thinking it really might be a while before she moves ~ Tif

the one...

i know, i know...my absence could only mean one of two things. either i am elated and caught up in a whirlwind of moving house, or i am broken hearted again and staying under my duvet...

well i am pleased to tell you it is the former, yes dear readers we have come to an agreement on the gray house with the seller, we are waving a piece of paper in our hands that tells us so...

and more importantly after two months of waiting, my house has a sign outside the door that reads "For Sale"...

back of gray house

so i did it, i set the goal of two weeks and i managed it. "but Tif, how do you know this is the right one for you" i hear you ask, "after all you were in love with the yellow house for so long"...well, i have been doing a lot of thinking about that (oooh that's possibly very dangerous) whilst 'a vacuuming' and 'a cleaning' my house and here's what i thought...firstly i came up with lots of reasons why the gray house was a better choice, things like, closer to the kids friends, less land to take care of, i wasn't scared to use the toilets...things like that. but it was yesterday as i was standing in the gray house talking to my friend Laurie, while the inspector was doing his thing, that it suddenly dawned on me why i knew this was the right move.

every time i have visited my 'new/old mock tudor number' it has felt more and more like home, i know we could be happy there, i look around and know it has that lovely feeling about it. whereas the more i went to the yellow house i started to feel uneasy about the extent of work needed on it, the cost, how we would be living for years in a construction site...this started when my inspector broke my rose colored specs...

so that's how i know this ain't no 'rebound' romance, no siree...this is the real thing (and obviously i am counting my chickens again, but i do it so well, so why change a habit of a life time), this gray house is perfect for right now, for where my kids are right now and for where our lives are right now. it's a lovely place to rest my airstream (just a matter of time) and a few chickens...oh and we have now added a 'tree house' to the list...

yep, she's pretty made up ~ Tif

strike three and you're out...

i know dear readers the scene of Tif brutally "beating" her 'poor paper donkey' so viciously with her wooden kitchen spoon maybe disturbing for some of you...

but if i told you at the time of "smashing" my birthday pinata that i was thinking about a certain 'seller' of a certain empty yellow house...

and that the aforementioned 'seller' has chosen to withdraw from a contract...

and that the said 'seller' will no longer be selling his lonely yellow house to us ...

i think you can understand why it only took three strikes to break the poor donkey's neck...

and the treasure,

ah yes the treasure...it was all a girl could ask for in life, chocolate and money...

looking again for the perfect house...(she knows it's out there somewhere) ~ Tif

and the winner is...

i am back and i have to tell you that i have experienced a miracle. (or i am living the life of a soap character) but i am going with the former...after living for several days in the deepest corner of my 'pit of despair' ( thanking you kindly for all your support) i have been thrown a life line, along with it a large band-aid to patch up my broken heart.

someone or something (i like to think my guardian angel had a small part to play) made the seller of the empty sad yellow house see the light and realize that it is my destiny to live in it. yes dear readers, you are learning just like me that miracles can happen. the seller came back to us, on our terms and it is full steam ahead...i feel like i am living on a roller coaster of emotions these days, and quite frankly i am looking forward to getting off soon, and i am sure you are too!

the next loop on the ride is "the inspection" which will be carried out in a day or two, (shall aim to get some pics for you) and then if we don't fall off it is on to the "putting my house on the market" slow climb beginning of next week and if that all goes according to plan and we get to the top of the hill it is just one long whizz to the finish, where we can all get off, feeling sick but smugly pleased with ourselves for making it through...

in celebration of getting back on track i unearthed my knitting books and flicked through to find something suitable to make for the yellow house (once again counting my chickens before they hatch)...i found this page in my Sarah Dallas Book,

the whole room is just perfect for the yellow house, i showed it to our #3 who quietly marvelled at it and continued playing the game console (wise child), i then showed it to my man who's comment was "those chairs with the cushions look really uncomfortable" (foolish man)...i will not allow his words to cast a shadow on my new found happiness...and so i shall proceed to knit some cushions to occupy my thoughts and calm my nerves over the coming weeks..

in the meantime, i am way way over due on some seriously important "thank yous" and i plan to get through them a bit at a time, but i must announce the winner of the 'cushion give away'...this was so tricky and i wish i had said i would pick it out of a hat. everyone had a tale to tell that i think we could all relate to...but i ended up going with Lily because she made me spill my cup of tea i was laughing so much (obviously before my heart cracked). not so much the nightmare of moving but 'life after the move' ...drop me a line at my email Lily and this cushion will be winging it's way to you promptly!

trying to remember exactly where her knitting needles have been packed away and looking forward to a trip to the yarn shop, leaving you with Lily's 'moving' story ~ Tif

here's my story...

1. 5 years ago, we happily bought our first home. it was owned by an old lady with lots of cats.

2. we discovered cats under our house.

3. after about 6 months the orange one came back and died on our driveway, very sad..

4. whenever we have the lights on in the front living room her black cat comes back and sprays on our front door. this happens even if the lights are only on for 5 mins. the cat must be watching our home.

5. five years later this still happens. we had to move our living room into the dining room (which we only use for large gatherings) and not use the front room.last year thanksgiving dinner with family in dining room (front room). i was thinking, no the cat is not coming tonight...i was wrong, i was horrified when i smelled the combination of fish guts and urine in the dining room and everyone was saying "what's that smellll?

6. yes, five years later, i'm still a prisoner in my own home cuz of that black cat.

7. i've grown to like the cats now, cuz my little boy likes to put on his frog boots to go chase them in the yard and then he'll say "oh they'll be back".Lily

"i'll get over you, but it's going to take some time" courtesy of Gabrielle...

many years ago at the grand old age of seventeen i liked to dress in a very bohemian hippy style (some i am sure, would say i still do). when my meagre paycheck (life as a bar maid in a working man's pub) would allow me, i would head to the high street store Annoki (hope i got the spelling correct on that one). one such fine day while still living at home with my folks in the lovely city of Cambridge, i strode into Annoki with my doctor marten boots and thrift store postman's jacket on. waiting for me on the sale rail was a "stop me in my tracks" jacket with my name on it. it was perfect in every way except for the price tag. i still remember the mandarin collar, the color, the fit and best of all the wonderful embroidered pattern across the back. i didn't have a hope of affording it even on sale. i went home and later that night told my dad about it. he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet and gave me the money telling me to go back in the morning and purchase it, if it was that special to me...i got up early and headed to the store only to find that it had been sold at closing time the day before. it was the only one, they would have no others.

i still get a pang in my heart whenever i think of that jacket knowing it would have served me well and probably still be hanging in my wardrobe today...sadly dear readers i fear i will have the same pang every time i think of the yellow house in years to come. it is not my destiny to live in it, i can't see that now but that must be what it is. if i lived in the olden days i would tell you "i am in a wretched state of despair" take myself to bed, have my servants care for me and dote on my every 'sigh' and 'whimper' but it is not the olden days and so i tell you "i am totally gutted" as i lie on my bed staring up at my ceiling fan wishing with all my heart that it had turned out a different story..

so in the words of Gabrielle (and please forgive me my sadness and my tears over a yellow house) i leave you with pictures of my packed away empty studio that looks and feels just like my heart...

"i know that it's over

but i can't believe it's through

they say that time's a healer

and i'm better without you

it's gonna take time i know

but i'll get over you

look at my life

look at my heart

i have seen them fall apart

now i'm ready to rise again" ~ Tif

i must be barking mad...

first i must be sure to thank you all for your lovely comments on the 'yellow house'...i really do enjoy reading all the things you have to say and i especially enjoy it when a reader "delurks"!!

and so a few days have passed since we last spoke, i am knee high in mayhem. it was somewhere between reading Violette Crumble's "moving" posts and inhaling too many fumes from the "adhesive sticker residue remover" required on our #4's windowpane that it occurred to me that we must all have our little tales of "moving madness"...and so dear readers i feel a competition coming on.

i have up for grabs a 'little number' that did not get packed away with the rest of my studio...

if you fancy a chance at winning this large cushion cover (i say cover because the cushion pad weighs a ton and isn't very good for mailing....) it measures 20" x 20" and is made of linen with appliqued frayed patches of bird fabric...

all you have to do is share your "moving horror" or "moving funny" or even "moving sad" story...the one i like the most will win...no drawings out of the bowl this time, it is purely down to whose little 'tale of woe' that i like the most..

to get the old ball rolling we will have a little look at Tif's current "moving story" and as i like lists, let's do it that way...

1. Tif finds a "yellow house" that requires an awful lot of work to make it a home, but it has three acres, an outbuilding for a studio, room for chickens and a goat, plus an airstream.

2. Tif persuades her family that they have always wanted to live in a house just like this.

3. Tif then sets about packing up all her worldly possessions so it looks like they have never lived in their home for seven years.

4. Tif does this before she has even tried to buy the "yellow house" because she can only put an offer in if her house is ready to sell.

5. Tif now has most of her things piled high in her garage and is keeping her fingers and toes crossed that the offer she puts in tomorrow will be accepted.

6. Tif is now painting the inside of her current home, cleaning windows and carpets in the vain hope that someone will want to buy it very quickly.

7. Tif is not reading or listening to any information that tells her the housing market in America is crumbling.

8. Tif is barking mad.

see it's easy to have a ridiculous "moving story"...for all you readers not from the USA that are confused, in a nut shell, to sell my house it must be spic and span and have no personality and show no 'sign of life' before i can put it up for sale...that just seems to be the way here. (i believe the true madness of this tale is the fact that i am trying to buy a house that has not been done up to be sold, even though i have to...still confused, don't worry you are not alone). so if you could all keep your fingers and toes crossed for me in the next few days i would really appreciate it...and if things go well then all this 'boxing up our lives' over the past few weeks will be worth it...

looking forward to hearing your stories...let's leave this competition open until Mon 27th by which time i will either be weeping into my cup of tea and dragging boxes back in from the garage, or hopefully getting ready to list my house..

sharing photos of cleared out studio very soon ~ Tif

"where ever i lay my hat, that's my home"...courtesy of Mr Paul Young (cheesy, i know!)

please, forgive me dear readers for my extended leave of absence...it is quite unforgivable i know, but things in the real world sometimes take over and the cyber world doesn't get a look in...

we had a lovely trip away, considering the kids had been together for well over a month already. lots of outdoorsy stuff was done, mountain bike riding, waterfall swimming, trekking up hills and eating lots of saltwater taffy...oh yes, "where have you been all my life" saltwater taffy.

i dressed the part in my crocs and seafarer's hat...

we spied whales in the water (that's an incredible sight to see), while chewing the taffy...we canoed our little hearts out, apparently going down stream but with the wind against us it was an uphill struggle...at one point i lay down in my canoe with our #2 and screamed "just leave me to die and be pecked by wild birds, i can't go on any more" only to realize that over the top of the river bank was a golf course with several golfers having a good old chuckle at our distress...i am quite sure if i had discovered the saltwater taffy before my canoe trip, it would have helped me greatly...

anyhow, enough of the small talk, let's get on with why my 'prolonged state of absence' has been so 'prolonged'..."oooh yes Tif, that's what we want to know and it better be good, 'cause quite frankly we are a little fed up with you"..."ok, ok, i know i have neglected you but i have good reason" and here it is...

the house that is calling out to me day and night saying "Tif, come live in me, love me and make me better again....put chickens in my back yard and park your airstream trailer at the side"

so there it is dear readers, i am hoping to embark on a new chapter in our lives...we have a long way to go (packing up that is, the house is actually only down the hill from where we are now!) and a lot of hurdles to jump over but if it is meant to be, then this little old house will be come our home...

in the coming weeks my posts on my little blog will be sparse (you are used to that by now) but i will try my best to tell you the tale of packing up seven years of stuff from this house, four kids, one man, six pets and a small home business, down sizing it all and hopefully moving into a new home. (did i mention it has an outbuilding with a studio, sigh).

of course, it isn't concrete yet and could all fall apart, (not the house, the purchase, tee hee) but i have to believe in it to make it happen...

so my house is starting to look a little like this, and the studio will be packed up next week, dottie angel will be put to one side until the spring, so i can work on the new/old house...

'keeping her fingers crossed' and 'with so much more to say, just needing time, which she is very short on these days' ~ Tif

i spy with my little eye something beginning with 'F'...